


The Rabbit Hole

by Marie_Phantom



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst with a Happy Ending, Earning Your Happiness, Fluff, Multi, Perceived Maddness, Team as Family, Torture, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7254916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Phantom/pseuds/Marie_Phantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thor causes the accidental death of a bully, he is institutionalised in the Safe Have for Endangered and Illegal Delinquents. There, he meets Loki, a young man trapped in his own head and doomed to spend the rest of his life behind bars.</p><p>But is Loki really as mad as he appears? And what happens in the basement, where Thor can hear screaming and the crying of the forgotten? </p><p>Maybe Thor is right where he needs to be, to discover the truth about Loki, the Institution, and his own self.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I See The Light.

**Author's Note:**

> So....this happened.
> 
> This is going to be updated MUCH slower than Castle of Glass, and will continue to do so until CoG is finished. I am also working on the second part of Colours, so this is going to be temperamental updating. But it will get done, and I promise you, this is going to ve a ride!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor commits a serious crime and is sentence. But is that really a punishment, or was it meant to happen?

Thor stared aghast at where Tyr had been standing not 2 minutes before.

"No." He whispered. "No, no, no, no."

Tyr had been posturing again, pushing Thor around and slapping the back of his head. Thor had gritted his teeth and ignored him. He was used to being singled out. His heavy Norwegian accent, height and breadth and his long blond hair had instantly put people's backs up. He just seemed to be... _better_...than the rest of them. At least to Tyr. Thor had instantly made the high school football team, was top of his classes despite English being a second language, and was gracious and kind to people.

Terrible temper notwithstanding. 

So, when Tyr had come up to him at the end of the school day and slapped the back of his head sharply, laughing with his gang, Thor had taken a deep breath, dropped his bag and turned face him. 

"What do you want, Tyr?" He had asked.

"Just wondering whether you were going to drop the act and be the dickhead I know you are." Tyr had laughed. Tyr was also a blond, but his hair was dirty and cropped short, and he often spent his time in the gym, building up muscles so that he would unconsciously compete with Thor. It was like looking at a photograph and a negative, and Thor still have three inches on Tyr. It was a bitter three inches, and Tyr never forgot that, whilst he may compete with Thor when it came to muscles, he still looked at Thor's lips when he talked to him.

When Thor had got angry as a child, his mother used to tell him that his eyes flashed white, and his hair stood on end as it to give himself more volume. What she hadn't said that clouds used to gather overhead, and thunder rolled across the sky. Picking little Thor up during a tantrum was akin to touching a live battery.

Thor had closed his eyes and clenched his fists, working his jaw in anger. His girlfriend, Sif, looked up at the sky to see quickly gathering clouds and moved away, afraid. She had seen Thor irritated occasionally, but he never experienced him in a full temper.

"Fuck off, Tyr." Thor had growled, bunching his shoulders and moving forward. Tyr unconsciously moved backwards but continued to grin, trying not to show that he was afraid.

"You think you're hot shit, don't you Odinson?" Tyr had sneered, and Thor's growl deepened. Sif was now actively moving backwards in fear.

"I am who I am. Don't assign me false attributes just because you feel insignificant." Thor had said, his voice crashing around Tyr's ears. 

"Man, you gotta move back." One of Tyr's clique had muttered, putting a hand on Tyr's shoulder. Tyr had shaken him off and moved closer, ignoring the static energy lifting the hair on the back of his neck.

"You think you're something, don't you Odinson?" He had hissed, almost nose to nose with Thor. Thor's eyes were slowly changing colour from electric blue to fluorescent white. Tyr ignored this, feeling testosterone flood his body. "You come to Washington and think you can take over my school, huh?"

Thor was now breathing hard, and, should anybody have looked down, sparks were now jumping from finger to finger. 

"You're just a small town, foreign little  _nobody_!" Tyr had hissed. "Your Daddy made a mistake bringing you here. You don't belong with us." He touched his forehead to Thor's, ignoring the fact that he was now standing on the tips of his toes. " _You're pathetic_." He said.

It was the last thing he would ever do.

"YOU WILL NOT," Thor roared, pushing Tyr back and throwing his hands forward, "SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

A great flash of lightning came down from the sky and leapt into Thor's hands, and Thor, going on instinct, pushed it forward. Tyr didn't even have time to scream as a full bolt of lightning ran through his body. The voltage running through him was some much that it burned up...everything.

Now Thor was standing in front of a small piles of ashes, his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest. Behind him, Sif was screaming and running back into the school, crying loudly.

"Holy shit." The boy who had wanted Tyr said. 

"Oh, oh no." Thor moaned and ran his hands through his hair. There was still some electricity in his fingers and it prickled pleasantly against his skin. 

"HOLY SHIT! YOU KILLED TYR!" The boy screamed and ran off into the school, where Sif was dragging out a teacher, pointing to Thor and weeping.

"What-" The teacher gasped.

"I...I..." Thor didn't know what to say, and tried to reach out to Sif. But she shied away and hid from his eyes, and Thor felt like weeping.

"Odinson? What did you do?" The teacher asked. Thor collapsed to his knees and grabbed his hair. 

"I...killed him." He whispered. 

"Say again." The teacher had said, coming over and wrenching Thor's shoulder. Thor had turned anguished eyes onto his teacher. "Tell me the truth."

And Thor, who was a very bad liar, sealed by fate by telling the truth.

"I summoned lighting and electrocuted him. I killed Tyr with the sky."

 

 

*********

 

 

Thor was only 18 years old, and on that day, he bid his childhood goodbye.

 

 

*********

 

 

His parents were called and he was bundled into the back of the car, still sobbing and moaning, staring at his hands. Frigga and Odin had looked at each other in despair, knowing that this had been coming. 

They had known since Thor had been a child that something was...different...about him. He had played in whatever weather was possible, but had actively looked forward to thunder and rainstorms with unnatural glee. 

"Mummy, mummy!" He had called, eyes slowly changing. "Look!"

"I know, darling." Frigga had come over and taken Thor away from the window, looking at the weather with angry eyes. 'Leave my child alone!' She had thought. But the weather had kept its grip on Thor, and now a boy was dead. 

They had driven home and Thor had been hurried to his bedroom, not catatonic and unresponsive. Frigga had tucked him into bed and had installed Baldr by the bedside, reading from Thor's favourite book to keep him calm. Downstairs, Frigga had collapsed into the sofa and was looking at ceiling, wondering just who on Earth she had pissed off to deserve this in her family.

"Frigga." Odin said, coming through with two large mugs of tea liberally splashed with mead. Frigga took one and gulped. 

"Odin, what on earth are we going to do?" She asked. Odin sat down next to her and they both stared into the unlit fireplace. "A boy is dead, and our son killed him."

"I know." Odin whispered. 

"But how-" Frigga said and took another gulp. "How he killed that boy-"

"What he said didn't happen." Odin said firmly. Frigga slowly set down her mug and looked at Odin with disbelief in her eyes.

"You must be joking." She said in a low voice, the temper that Thor had inherited brewing in her chest. "Thor doesn't tell lies, and he said that he electrocuted that boy."

Odin shook his head, looking slightly desperate. "Frigga, he's delusional." 

"Then how do you explain the ashes?!" Frigga cried. In the bedroom above, Thor flinched and whimpered. "The boy disappeared and all that was left was a small pile of ashes on the ground. We have witnesses, people who saw what happened."

"A shared fantasy." 

"No, Odin. No. You don't get to do this." Frigga pleaded. "You've known, his whole life. He's connected to the sky, like in the Old Days. He always has been!"

"He killed that boy, yes. But what he did with the body in that moment, we may never now."

There was a fraught silence, before Frigga leaned back and slapped Odin sharply. Odin gasped and his eyepatch twisted around his face, and he slowly turned to face his wife, who had tears standing in her eyes.

"How dare you." She hissed. "You know the truth, Odin Borson. You've known your whole life. And now, when he needs us most, you would go and abandon-"

"He is going to be committed!" Odin cried. Upstairs, Baldr climbed into the bed and hugged his big brother close, running his hands through long blond hair.

"Frigga, if our son continues to tell the truth, he will be committed to a mental institution. He might never get out. Whereas if he pleads guilty, he could be in for 10, out in 7. He's a good boy, he'll make parole easily. My darling," He cradled Frigga's cheek and she hiccuped, weeping now, "he'd do better in prison than he would in an asylum."

There was a long silence and Frigga leant into Odin's arms, weeping for her son. His life was over, and now he was branded an murderer at worst, man-slaughterer at best. 

"My boy." She moaned. "My little man."

"Hush, my love." Odin soothed, concealing his own tears in her thick blond hair. "Hush. It will all be over soon."

 

 

*********

 

 

Thor was expelled immediately, and the next day, a man came over from the state attorneys office, offering his services as a lawyer in Thor's defence. Odin would have done it himself, but he was too connected to the case. 

Nevertheless, the trial happened quickly, the newspapers having got wind of what happened. With so many witnesses, there had been many first hand accounts told to various newspapers and tabloids, and, as lurid as the stories were, the truth was even stranger.

The man, an oily little person called Fisk, leered at Thor and opened his briefcase. "Now," he said, rubbing his hands together. "This seems to be a pretty open and shut case, but I just want to go through some of the details with you."

Thor nodded, feeling numb. 

"You say that you got into an alteration with Tyr Norseson?" Fisk asked. Thor nodded. "And this escalated. I gather from some of the witnesses that fists were thrown."

"No." Thor said. "No, nobody hit anyone."

"Oh, really." Fisk had nodded and altered something on his notes. "But there were raised voices." 

Thor nodded again. "So Tyr made a threat to you and then-"

Thor looked helplessly at his parents, and then back to his lawyer. "I killed him." Thor whispered.

Fisk waved his hands. "Yes, yes, I know that. But  _how_ did you kill him?"

Thor stared at his hands and then looked slowly up at Fisk. "Lightning came from the sky and into my skin. I directed it to Tyr. But I didn't mean to kill him, I didn't!" Thor looked up desperately, but Fisk merely smiled at him and looked back down at his notes.

"Thor." Frigga said and put a hand on his shoulder. But Thor didn't feel it. 

There was something compelling him to tell the truth. Something was whispering in his ear to keep to his story, and every night, he dreamed of the expression on Tyr's face, overlaid with enormous black eyes. 

' _Tell the truth, Thor._ ' Was whispered through his brain. ' _Tell the truth_.'

So Thor kept to the truth, and, when Fisk left the house, he knew exactly what he was going to plead for Thor at the trial.

Besides, the Institution collected specimens like Thor. He would be a welcome addition to the crowd. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When the trial happened, 4 months later, the verdict was reached in only half an hour. 

Standing in the dock, Thor wandered whether he should have stuck to his story. But the voice in his head assured him that this was the right choice, and so he stood tall and readied himself.

"We, the Jury," said the man standing by the judge, "find the defendant...

Guilty on all charges."

Thor closed his eyes and swayed, and then opened them as the Judge leaned over the bench. His eyes, swollen and red, fixed into those cold blue eyes, and his felt the electricity in his veins dance across his fingers. 

"Mr Odinson, you have been found guilty. But you have pleaded insanity during this trial, so I have no choice but to sentence you to the Safe Haven for Endangered and Illegal Delinquents. There you will stay until you have been deemed fit to enter society." The judge banged his gavel and immediately the guards took Thor's arms, clapping handcuffs onto him and walking to the side door. He turned his head to look at his family, and saw that Baldr had buried his head into Frigga's shoulder, crying hard.

"Thor, be brave." Frigga said, tears in her eyes. Thor nodded and gave a weak smile. He exchanged a final nod with his father and walked through the door. 

The guards took him to another side room, where a set of white cotton scrubs were sitting on a chair, along with a pair of white slippers. "Strip." Said the guard and unlocked the handcuffs. Thor stroked his wrists and walked to the chair, pulling off his suit. His brief career as a footballer had stopped him off any body modesty, and so he had no problem changing into his new clothes. They were surprisingly comfortable, and as Thor pulled on the slippers, he reminded himself that this was meant to happen.

Not a superstitious man, Thor nevertheless believed in Fate. And somehow, despite the terrible situation, this felt just a little bit right.

When he had finished changing, he turned back to the guards and accepted the handcuffs. One of the guards grabbed his hair and Thor tensed, expecting pain. But he merely tied it back from his head.

"C'mon, Odinson. This way." The guard jerked his head, and Thor took a deep breath and followed. 

There was a van waiting in the back of the courthouse, and Thor climbed inside, settling against a window. He felt exhausted and shattered, and so leaned against the window and closed his eyes. 

He was soon asleep. He didn't dream.

 

 

*********

 

 

"Oi. Wake up."

Thor mumbled and opened his eyes, looking up. A different set of guards were at his side, and he straightened up. 

"Are we there?" He asked. One of the guards snorted.

"Yeah. Welcome to the Funny Farm." 

Thor felt abruptly awake and he stood up, banging his head on the roof. He winced and rubbed his head, looking at one of the guards out of the corner of his eye. 

"Are we still in Washington?" He asked. The other guard, the quieter one, looked at him askance.

"You don't know anything about this place, do you?" He asked. Thor shook his head. "Oh, shit, man. You're in for a fun time."

Thor glared at him and walked to the end of the van, hopping out and blinking in the sunlight. 

The building in front of him was huge, and painted brilliant white. It was state of the art, with huge glass windows and large open spaces of greenery. Thor felt his dark mood lighten somewhat as he saw this, abruptly reminded of the huge garden at his parents house. 

He was broken from his thoughts when he felt a nudge in his back, and he walked forward to the large entrance. The sun was starting to set over his shoulder, and he felt the clouds drawing in. He took strength from that, and walked to the entrance. The man at the door, a kind faced man of small stature and a seeming permanent smile on his face, swiped his keycard against the pad and opened the door.

"Good afternoon." He greeted. Thor gave him a small, tentative smile, but he was prodded along. He made his way to a desk, where a man with dark scruff on his face and mean eyes stood behind it, tapping on a computer.

"Fresh meat." He murmured when he saw Thor, and Thor almost took a step back. But he walked forward, head held high, and stood in front of the desk. The guard at his back handed over a clipboard, and the man at the desk took it, flicking through it before looking at Thor with a slow grin.

"So you really killed a boy by electrocuting him?" He said, leaning over and giving Thor a slow smile. Thor glared back, distinctly unnerved but determined not to show it.

"Thor Odinson. Huh, old name. My name is Rumlow. I'm one of the keepers here, so don't fuck with me. You do that, we can get on." Rumlow said, coming from behind the desk. He was dressed in dark blue scrubs, but with boots on his feet rather than slippers. Rumlow signed the paperwork and gave it back to the guards, who left without looking at Thor. Now Thor was alone with Rumlow, and he was starting to panic.

"You're a big guy." Rumlow said, walking around Thor. Thor stood still, rubbing his wrists where the handcuffs had been taken off. The man at the door was now frowning, and Thor looked over his shoulder briefly, getting a brief smile for his efforts. It made him feel momentarily better.

"Follow me." Rumlow said. Thor followed, looking around. 

The corridors are white and sterile, and there were many of them. Each door had a number, and Thor followed Rumlow up the stairs, feeling increasingly nervous and homesick.

He wanted his mother, and father, and brother. He wanted to go home.

They walked to the very top, and towards the end of a narrow corridor. There were only doors on one side now, and Rumlow was starting to laugh.

"You're getting a roommate." He said over his shoulder. Thor stumbled.

"I...I am?" He squeaked out. 

Rumlow laughed. It wasn't kind. "Oh yeah. You're getting the best."

Rumlow and Thor stopped outside number 11, and Rumlow pulled out a key and opened the door. Thor didn't get a chance to look in before he was shoved inside, and he stumbled.

"Good night!" Rumlow said, locking the door and laughing as he left. Thor shuddered and looked over the room. There was a single bed pushed against the far wall, and the wall itself was covered in paper, which in itself was covered in symbols, straight lines and numbers. In future days, Thor would discover that the writing was old Norse, and that his roommate had once been a mathematical genius.

Thor didn't move, but looked over the room with a thumping heart. However, his hear stopped when he saw the person sitting on the edge of the windowsill, leaning against the bars.

"Oh." Said the boy softly. 

Thor didn't move, but peered through the darkness. The sun was just about to go down, washing over the boy's bare shoulders. From what Thor could see, the boy was curled up with his knees to his chest, and his dark hair tumbled about his face. From what Thor could see of his face, it was pale and pointed, with enormous eyes. 

"Oh." Said the boy again. He unfolded slowly and continued looking at Thor with an unblinking gaze. "I have a boy."

Before Thor could move, the boy had uncurled and hurried across the room. He was surprisingly tall, as tall as Thor was, but whippet thin. Thor could see his ribs poking through his skin, his delicate collarbone, and his thin arms. Thor back into the door, but couldn't move as the boy (no,  _man_ ) caught up to him and took his face in his hands. 

"I have a boy, I have a boy." The man was whispering in ecstasy. He sounded British, exceptionally posh, and Thor wondered why someone like that was over in America. But he was taken from his thoughts when the man ran his palms over the scruff on Thor's face and giggled, bringing his hands to his own face and rubbing. 

"Rough." He said.

"Yes." Thor finally said through a dry throat. He froze again as the man reached out with long fingers and stroked the skin of his throat gently. 

"Aqua." He murmured. He bit his lip and nodded to himself, walking over to the sink and turning on the cold tap, cupping some water in his hands and then walking back over carefully. He offered his hands to Thor, who looked at him with an open mouth. The man frowned at the delay and offered his hands again, a little more urgently.

"Aqua!" He said firmly. Thor, realising that dignity wasn't going to get him anywhere, dipped his head and started sipping. The man's face changed from frustration to delight, and he held still until Thor had finished drinking. He then wiped his hands on Thor's scrubs and leant in close again, peering at Thor's face. Thor took his chance to look at him.

His face was terribly thin, cheekbones sticking out of skin, and his chin very pointed. His lips were thin and covered in scars, criss crossing them almost like stitches. He was ashen white, and his black hair was thick and wavy, tumbling untidy about his shoulders. His eyes, however, were remarkable. Huge and luminous, they were a shade of green Thor had never thought possible. He had seen green eyes before, but never the shade of freshly grown leaves, bright grass illuminated by the sun, or perhaps, something else entirely.

"Look, look!" The man said and grabbed Thor's hand, pulling him to the window. The sun was just about to set, and the man climbed up, pulling himself up so that he stood against the bars. The bottoms of his voluminous pants fell about his ankles, and the man reached out and caressed the air. He drew his hand back inside and touched the skin of his own chest gently, sighing at the cold of his hand.

"'Tis beautiful. Fire disappearing, rock emerging. Blue in the above." The man said dreamily. He swayed in the breeze and Thor, without thinking, gripped the man's calf. The man didn't notice, humming to himself, to Thor looked out of the window himself.

The view made him choke, and he released the man's leg, gripping the sill as tears started dripping down his face. His knees shuddered and he slid down, resting his arms on the sill and his chin on them. He choked and whimpered and the man jumped off the sill and knelt down beside him. He reached out with long thin fingers and touched Thor's wet cheeks. When he drew his fingers back, he gaped at the moisture on his fingers, and put his hands back onto Thor's cheeks, as if to give the water back to him.

"Weeping. Weeping boy." He said. He tried, clumsily, to wipe the tears away and Thor cried harder, the full realisation of what he had lost hitting him. 

He was completely alone, in an insane asylum, and he didn't know if he would ever get out. He had lost his father, his mother, his home. He probably wouldn't see Baldr graduate. 

Thor sobbed loudly, and the man flapped his hands, not knowing what to do. His own green eyes were filling with tears.

"Oh, you weep! You weep! Don't weep, golden boy. No no no, please!" The man said. However, the words broke Thor out of his sorrow, and he sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"I'm okay. Please, don't cry." He said. The man gulped back his tears and then took Thor's hands, rubbing the knuckles. 

"Yes, yes. Don't cry, please golden boy. I become sad too." The man said. Thor reluctantly smiled at the name, and curled his fingers around the man's. The man looked up with those unnerving eyes, and Thor caught them.

"My name is Thor." Thor said. The man smiled suddenly and laughed, rearing back and still holding Thor's hands.

"I know!" He exclaimed. "I know. Thor has come. Hello Thor."

Thor couldn't help but laugh with him. The sadness was still in his chest, but the exuberance of the man was infectious. 

They sat like that for a while, until a sudden clap of thunder echoed in the sky. The man turned and looked out of the window, closing his eyes when he felt the stiff breeze against his face. 

"Ah." He said gently. Thor also looked out of the window and saw the clear night sky suddenly overcome with rainclouds. There was another clap of thunder and the sky burst, rain coming down and filling the air with the scent of ozone. Thor released the man's hands and knelt up to reach through the bars to close the window, but the man reached up and stopped Thor's hands.

"No." He whispered. He rested against the sill and Thor followed him. They stared at the storm, the thunder echoing in Thor's bones and filling him with a sense of...peace.

"You're making the sky cry." The man said gently. Thor turned and rested his head on his arms, looking into the face of the man. Lighting flashed and illuminated the man's face. Thor didn't think he had ever seen something so ethereal and beautiful. He had never seen anything like it before, and he had often looked for the beautiful things in nature, watching butterflies flitter by and spending hours, when he was younger up a tree so he could watch eggs hatch and give forth new life.

"Sorry." He whispered. 

"No. Never apologise for that." The man said. 

Thor spotted a bed on the other side of the room, and slowly got up and walked to it, taking off his clothes until he was clad in nothing but his boxers. He slid beneath the thin sheets and watched as the man continued watching the storm. It was to this sight that he slowly fell asleep.

Again, he didn't dream.

 

 

**********

 

 

Thor awoke abruptly when the man slid into his bed and settled against the pillows with a deep sigh. Thor was uncomfortably aware that the man was naked, and so he pressed himself against the wall, trying to put some distance between him and the nakedness. 

"Don't move." The man whined and shuffled closer.

"Uh..." Thor tried to say something, but his mind was completely blank. 

"No moving." The man said sternly and shuffled closer, until he was pressed against Thor and Thor felt every inch of him. Thor didn't move, his heart pounding in his chest. 

They lay like this for a while, until the man sighed and opened his eyes to look at Thor. His eyes were still green and luminous, and he reached out with his hands and touched Thor's face. Thor froze, not knowing what to do.

"Rough." The man said again and once again he giggled. But this time, the hands didn't leave Thor's face and those long thin fingers crept across it. It was like having a couple of giant spiders wander across his face, but Thor had never been afraid of spiders, so he let the man explore to his hearts content. 

The man touched Thor's closed eyelids, tracing the thin skin gently. He wandered down to Thor's nose, stroking the strong bridge and bopping the end. Despite himself, Thor sighed with laughter and the man giggled with delight. 

"It's funny, isn't it, golden boy?" He asked in a breathy voice.

"Thor." Thor said gently, reminding him. The man nodded. 

"Indeed." And the man resumed his exploration. 

He spent a lot of time stroking Thor's cheeks, playing with the scruff. At one point, he even rubbed his own cheek against the hair, and the paroxysm of glee this sent him in to made Thor was to wrap him in his arms and hold him tight, so he could feel that laugh against his chest. Thor felt that painfully thin chest heave with each breath, and he gently reached over the man's body and placed his own hands on the man's back. He was dismayed to feel each vertebra, and placed his fingers in the spaces between the ribs. He could feel the beat of that heart on the skin, and he idly tapped his fingers against the skin to the beat. 

"Icy." The man murmured and snuggled closer. 

"Sorry." Thor whispered.

"No." The man said firmly. "No apologising." The man's fingers left Thor's cheeks and traced his lips, and Thor held completely still. 

"Soft." The man whispered. Thor felt his breath flutter out and touch the man's fingers, and the man leaned closer and touched his lips to Thor's. 

It wasn't a kiss. It was so much closer, sharing breath. Thor's chest head and the man's lips moved, covering Thor's cheek.

"I..." Thor said and abruptly he tighten his arms, hauling the man close. This was the kindest touch he had felt since he had left the courthouse, and his heart felt like it was about to leave his chest.

"Sharing souls." The man whispered. Thor felt the man's leg gently lift and cover Thor's over, and he pressed himself to Thor. Thor closed his eyes when he felt the man's groin press against his hip, but the man was soft, and it was purely affectionate. The man's hands reached over and tangled themselves in Thor's loose hand, pulling his head down until the man's lips rested against Thor's forehead.

The gesture was so startlingly affectionate that Thor once again felt tears in his eyes. He closed them and held the man close, feeling the body turn heavier as sleep took over him. 

"Loki." The man whispered. Thor opened his eyes and looked into the man's throat, watching the gentle beat of the artery. 

"Loki." Thor whispered back. Loki nodded his head gently and sighed himself to sleep.

Thor held the body close to his chest, listening to the storm outside and the sighs of Loki in his arms. He fell into a deep sleep, cradling the man in his arms, and feeling, for the first time since that terrible afternoon when Thor had exploded and a boy died, that he might, once again, be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki may seem too close, but you will find out why later. There is a reason for everything, trust me!


	2. Individual Madness vs Group Insanity - A Thesis by Thor Odinson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has spent the night with Loki, now he had to wake up and face reality. He may be scared, he may be worried, but luckily he has Loki to guide him through the melee. And when he meets the rest of the inmates, well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how many of you liked this. I wrote it kind of on a whim, and now I really want to continue it! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story, but, like I said before, updates will be sporadic until I finish Castle of Glass. Then I'll get on a regular updating schedule, but please enjoy this chapter until the next time.

Thor woke up slowly, squashed into the side of the wall and only the barest amount of his body claiming his mattress. The rest of the 95% was claimed by Loki, who was spread out like a starfish. One of his legs was entwined with Thor's and his arm was across Thor's chest, long fingers wrapped around his bicep.

"Uh..." Thor said, voice scratchy with sleep.

"Nnngg." Loki moaned and moved, pulling his body further across Thor's and burying his head in his shoulder. His skin was cold, and Thor wrapped his arms around him and held his hands against the knobs of his spine.

"Loki." Thor whispered into Loki's ear, and Loki giggled sleepily and kicked out. The sheet fell to the floor and exposed Loki's pale body to the morning light filtering in through the bars. Thor shivered, remembering that the window had never been shut. 

"Loki, wake up." Thor said and rolled them over, bracing himself on his arms and watching Loki wake. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, but he reached up and pressed his lips to Thor's in a sweet, simple kiss. 

"Hello boy." Loki whispered and opened his legs, causing Thor to fall between them. His groin brushed against Loki's and Thor turned red. 

"Uh..." He said again, and Loki laughed out loud, leaning up and kissing Thor harder.

"The sun is out." Loki said and then slid out from underneath Thor, walking to the window and climbing up to stand against the bars. He was still naked, and the slowly growing light illuminated his body. There were scars on his back, pinkish white and raised. Thor felt his heart move into his throat as he saw Loki's thinness in natural light. He really frighteningly thin, but his bottom was truly a thing of wonder, plush and bouncy and yet not overstated. 

"It's going to be a nice day." Loki said over his shoulder. Thor heaved a sigh and climbed out of bed, walking over to Loki's overstuffed corner and finding Loki's own pants crumpled beneath his pillow. 

"Loki, you need pants." Thor said and walked over, shaking out the pants and holding them open. Loki looked down and frowned.

"No." He said stubbornly. Thor shook out the pants again, harder.

"Loki, put on the pants."

"Nope!" Loki said and grinned, sliding down the bars and crouching on the sill and wrapping his arms around his knees, looking like a particularly pale gargoyle. 

Despite his irritation, Thor felt a tendril of amusement in his chest, and then he balled up the pants and threw them at Loki. They caught him in the face and he flailed, falling off the sill and landing onto the floor with a _flump!_

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed and hurried over, helping Loki untangle himself from the cotton. When Loki's face emerged, his cheeks were wet with tears and his breath was hitching in his chest. "Loki, I'm sorry." Thor said. Loki shook his head. 

"My elbow." He said and his voice quivered. "Hurts."

"I know, I know." Thor soothed and reached forward, taking Loki's arms and turning it gently. The elbow was red and slightly swollen, and Thor sighed. He stood up, bringing Loki with him, and then he guided them over to the sink. He turned on the cold tap and jogged to his bed, grabbing his t-shirt and tearing off a strip from the bottom.

"Not clean." Loki muttered. He eyed the strip and tried to clutch as his elbows, but then he cried out and held out his arm, tears once again collecting in his eyes.

"It'll be fine." Thor said and ran the strip under cold water, making sue that the cotton was soaked before wrapping it around Loki's elbow. Loki squeaked at the cold, and then sighed when Thor knotted it to keep it in place. Thor nodded to himself, and then went back and grabbed Loki's pants. He held them out to Loki, and Loki sighed and grabbed them, shoving his long, pale, hairless legs inside and tying the cords tightly. 

"What time do the orderlies come by?" Thor asked, and then remembered exactly to whom he was talking to. Loki may be sweet, but his behaviour was completely insane. 

"Hm?" Loki said. He had wondered over to his bed and had pulled out a pad of paper and a pen, and was busy drawing lines and mathematical equations. The cotton wrapped around his elbow dripped but Loki didn't notice, too busy with his pencil.

"Never mind." Thor muttered and walked to his bed. There was a second set of scrubs on the floor at the end of his bed, and he quickly pulled them on. He normally showered in the morning, but he didn't know when he would get the opportunity to, so fresh clothes would do. He grabbed the sheet from the floor and tucked it in, making it tidy and neat. He glanced over at Loki and saw that he was lying on his stomach, legs waving in the arm and pencil scribbling frantically. 

"Having fun?" Thor asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking out of the window. The sun had fully come up, and Loki was right, it was going to be a beautiful day.

"Making sense of the words." Loki said. He didn't look up, but he stopped scribbling and looked at what he'd written.

"What words?" Thor asked. He scratched his stomach through the top and watched as Loki laughed, kicking his legs and rolling onto his back. 

"The words in my head." Loki said. 

Thor abruptly felt cold as he was reminded that he was in a place for mad people. Loki may be endearing and sweet, and he might have formed a deep attachment with Thor, but he was clearly insane. He sat down hard enough that Loki stopped giggling to himself and sat up, looking at Thor with wide eyes.

"You can't hear the words?" He asked. His lower lip was trembling, and Loki's hands were worrying themselves. The skin was red and cracked, evidence of seasonal eczema and the constant friction from rubbing his skin.

"No, Loki." Thor sighed. He walked over to Loki's bed and sat down next to him, the mattress dipping causing Loki to slide into Thor's side. Loki reached out and took Thor's arm, wrapping it around his shoulders. Thor looked down and saw Loki trying to bury his head into his shoulder. "I can't hear the words."

Loki sighed and leaned back into Thor's arm. "I can hear the words. In my head."

"Okay." Thor said cautiously. 

"It's so simple. I listen to them, and then I write." Loki said. He drew his legs up to his chest and shuffled even further into Thor's side. Thor was amazed by how cold Loki's skin was, and wondered whether it was bad circulation or if Loki just didn't run hot. 

"If that's what happens." Thor said and shuffled back against the wall, bringing Loki with him. They sat like that for a while, Loki humming and playing with his toes, Thor looking out of the window and trying not to think about his future at this place. He was as scared as he was last night, but with Loki sniffing his skin, he couldn't really say that he was going to be as alone as he thought he would be.

They must have sat there for a good hour before there was a banging on the door and it opened, admitting the orderly called Rumlow and another man with a large scar down his face.

"This is Rollins." Rumlow jerked his head to the man beside him, and Rollins gave a slow, terrible grin. 

Thor didn't bother nodding, instead noticing Loki. Loki had snapped out of his relaxed state and was crouching on the balls of his feet, arms bracing himself and face pulled into a rictus snarl. His eyes were flashing with hatred and he was actually growling. 

"Fuck off Rumlow." He said through the sounds coming out of his throat. Thor stared at him, taken aback by how sane and how angry Loki seemed to be. His focus was entirely on Rumlow and Rollins, not wandering like he had done with Thor just 5 minuets previously. 

"Show time, Freak." Rumlow said and walked over, tapping his baton against his leg. Loki growled louder and backed up against the wall, hands coming up and fingers bent into claws.

"What's happening?" Thor asked. He had stood up and was standing in front of Loki. He was of a height with Rumlow, but much broader, and he made use of it. Rumlow was not intimidated by it, and was now tapping his baton against his hands. Rollins was lounging against the door frame, still grinning, and Thor could feel Loki shuffle forwards to press against his back, still growling, but he was now twining his hand into the back of Thor's scrub top. 

"Shower time. But this nut-job never likes leaving his room, so we have to use force with him."

"Nooooooo." Loki moaned and buried his face into Thor's back. Rumlow raised his eyebrows. 

"He seems to be comfortable with you. You shag him already?" Rumlow laughed. Thor felt Loki shiver. 

"That's none of you business." Thor said coldly. Rumlow raised his eyebrows.

"Tough man, huh?" Rumlow hissed. Thor took a deep breath and got his temper under control.

"Loki hurt his elbow soon after he woke up. It slightly swollen and red, so I put a cold compress on it. But it should get looked at by a doctor or someone with a background in medical care." Thor said. He reached behind him and drew Loki to his side, holding out his arm. Loki whined and tried to move back behind Thor, but Thor tightened his grip on Loki's arm (ignoring his whimper) and unwrapped the bandage. Rumlow didn't even look. 

"I'll get someone to look at it." Rumlow said and prodded Thor in the side. Thor jumped and moved towards the door, glaring at Rumlow and Rollins. Loki shuffled on the bed quickly, knotting his hand in the back of Thor's top and pressing close to his back. Thor allowed them to be herded out of the room and down the corridor, the sound of their bare feet slapping on the floor. 

At the end of the corridor was a large door, and Rumlow prodded them through. There was a series of shower heads against the far wall, the cold tile on the floor shining with water and lockers built into the wall at the sides. There were benches in front of the lockers, and Loki untangled his hands and moved to the benches, stripping with clinical efficiency. Rumlow leaned against the door and Rollins came into the room, leering at Loki as he moved to the showers and pressed the button, not even wincing when the water thundered out of the shower head. It was ice cold and Loki danced from foot to foot, waiting for the water to heat up.

"You don't have to actually step into the water." Thor said. He was slowly undressing, reluctantly removing his clothes and glancing back to where Rumlow was standing by the door, smirking at him. Thor squared his jaw and watched as Loki relaxed, hand reaching for the soap and rubbing it into his hands to create a lather. He rubbed it all over his body, and Thor flushed scarlet as he looked down and discovered that his cock was getting hard.

"You like boys, fag?" He heard Rumlow sneer from the door. Loki turned and saw Thor and frowned, hands frozen on his chest, before looking down.

"Oh." He said. There was an incredibly heavy beat of silence before Loki reached over and grabbed Thor's wrist. He dragged him under the hot spray and handed him the soap, finishing soaping himself up and then standing under the water, letting the soap run down his pale body. His hair was now long enough to trail over his shoulders, and the scars on his back were bright pink. Unbidden, Thor reached out and traced a large on across Loki's shoulder, and Loki hunched.

"Ow." He said sadly.

"What happened?" Thor whispered, the soap slipping from his hands and falling to the floor. Loki turned and looked at him with wide green eyes.

"He said...he said...he. I. Claws."

"Claws?" Thor said. Loki looked at the ceiling and then nodded firmly.

"Claws. I fell and he caught." Loki said, bending down to retrieve the soap and ignoring the wolf whistlers coming from the door. Thor looked over Loki's shoulder and threw as harsh a glare at Rumlow as he could. Loki stood up and handed Thor the soap.

"Clean!" He said brightly. Thor was temporarily blindsided by Loki's changing moods and frowned, before Loki tapped the soap against Thor's head. 

"Clean now." He said firmly and shoved the soap into Thor's hands. Thor laughed and started lathering as Loki stopped back. He wandered to the edge of the row of shower heads and grabbed a tube of something, before walking back to Thor, opening it and squirting it onto his head.

"Hey!" Thor exclaimed, hands soapy, but Loki hummed and dug his hands into Thor's hair. He massaged the shampoo into the strands and ran his fingers through the tangles.

"Thanks." Thor said and stood under the water, letting the soap run down his body. Loki stood to the side and watched, fingers idly picking at the skin around his nails. Thor made sure that the shampoo was out of his hair before snatching the bottle out of Loki's hands.

"Now you." He said firmly and Loki giggled, walking up to Thor and wrapping his arms around Thor's waist. Thor jumped and Loki laughed out loud, rubbing his chest against Thor's and laying his head against Thor's shoulder. It was a cramped situation, but Thor managed to get the shampoo into Loki hair and massaged it thoroughly. Thor's erection had subsided, and now they were just two bodies. 

Loki's hair was covered in tangles, and it took a long time for Thor to be able to run his hands through Loki's hair without getting caught. Loki had a tendency to cry out whenever Thor encountered a knot, and those sharp cries sent a spike through Thor's heart.

Loki's hair was longer than previously thought, and swept to the top of his shoulder blades. It was pitch blades, almost iridescent, and Thor realised that he had never seen hair like it.

"Get on with it, will you?" Rumlow yelled from the door. Loki jumped and then whimpered. His arms clenched tighter around Thor's waist and Thor quickly rinsed the shampoo from Loki's hair and then led him to where a pair of towels was sitting on the bench. Thor untangled himself from Loki and dried off, pulling on a new pair of scrubs and boxers before walking to where Loki was standing, staring at the ceiling.

"C'mon, Loki." He said gently and patted Loki dry. Loki looked at Thor with wide eyes and smiled, patting Thor's cheeks.

"Electricity in you veins." He said dreamily. Thor flushed and grabbed Loki's clothing, pulling them on and usuring Loki to the door. 

"About fucking time." Rumlow said and walked forward.

"Loki's arm still needs to be seen too." Thor said.

"It'll be seen too in the communal room." Rumlow said without turning around. Thor frowned and, without thinking about it, wrapped his arm around Loki's shoulders and brought him close to his side. 

"What about breakfast?" 

"Same thing." Rumlow growled, obviously irritated. Thor shut up and walked with Loki back to their room, where Rumlow opened the door. He let them walking inside before shutting the door abruptly and locking it.

"What?" Thor asked.

"Half an hour until breakfast." He sneered through the window and stomped off. Thor let out a deep breath and leant against the door, resisting the urge to bang his head against the wood. Loki was once again curled up on his bed, scribbling whatever was in his head down on the paper strewn around his bed.

"Fuck sakes." Thor swore under his breath. He had nothing with him to relieve the boredom, and so was hoping that when his parents came to visit they would bring some of his books. He didn't know where Loki was getting the paper. He frowned and walked over slowly.

"Still making sense of the words?" He asked. Loki nodded without looking around. His hair was starting to dry and tangle again, so Thor leaned over and grabbed the comb that was sitting on Loki's bedside table. "Sit up." He said. Loki sat up slowly, still scribbling, and Thor grabbed a section of hair and started to comb.

He was surprised by the texture of Loki's hair. He would have expected it to be smooth and silky, like a black waterfall, but instead it was wiry and slightly coarse. It explained why it tangled easily, which explained why Loki had just left it alone. 

Loki stopped writing and was leaning back into Thor's hands, sighing gently as the comb pressed into his scalp. "You enjoying that?" Thor asked, amused. 

"Mmmmm." Loki sighed. "It's sharp."

"Is it?" Thor said and took the comb away, looking at it with worry. Loki huffed and nudged Thor sharply.

"Good sharp!" Loki said grumpily and Thor laughed, resuming combing.

"What are you writing about?" Thor asked as Loki wriggled. 

"In the air." Loki said dreamily. Thor looked up before he realised how stupid he looked and resumed combing, ears flushing red.

"You...see words in the air?" Thor asked. Loki nodded. 

"Yep. Floating in the breeze. Words and maths and spells."

The hair rose on the back of Thor's neck. "Spells?" He said through a slightly dry throat.

"Yes." Loki said softly. "So many spells. In the walls, in the wood. In you." He turned and fixed luminous eyes on Thor, who whitened. 

Thor opened his mouth to say something when the door slammed open, and Rumlow strode in, grinning. 

"Breakfast. C'mon." He jerked his head and strode out, and Loki bounced up and followed. Thor stood up slowly, walking to his bed and putting on his slippers. He saw that Loki had forgotten his, so with a sigh he bent down and grabbed Loki's. They were slightly dusty.

They both walked down the corridor, Loki humming and skipping sometimes, and Thor walking behind with a frown. They all walked down a set of stairs, Loki occasionally missing a stair and Thor reaching out to grab his elbow to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

"Loki, you've got to concentrate." He said softly. Loki turned and gave him a blinding smile. 

"Thor." He said and leaned up, wrapping his arms around Thor's shoulders.

"Will you both fucking move?" Rumlow glowed. He came stomping up the stairs again and reached over to grab Loki's arm. Loki whimpered and hugged Thor closer.

"We'll come. We'll come." Thor said and hurried down the stairs. Rumlow gave a sharp nod and continued. Thor followed, trying desperately to ignore Loki nuzzling his neck. They reached a door at the end of the corridor and Rumlow took out his keys.

"What is that?" Thor asked before he could stop himself.

"Can't handle a little suspense?" Rumlow sneered. "It's the day room. It's where you're going to be staying during the day unless you have an appointment."

Loki whimpered. Rumlow opened the door and jabbed Thor inside, locking it sharply behind him. Thor stumbled in and Loki left his arms with a happy cry. The light was temporarily blinding and Thor blinked, before his vision cleared and he stood there, gaping.

 

 

*************

 

 

It was not what he expected. 

The room was huge, easily four times the size of the room he was sharing with Loki. On one side there were enormous floor to ceiling windows showing  a large garden with a huge oak tree growing in the middle. Thor would learn later that the glass was reinforced and doubly thick. On the far was was an enormous bookcase, filled almost to overflowing with books about all kinds of subjects, both fiction and non-fiction.

'That takes care of my boredom.' Thor thought, slightly dazed.

Tucked up against the bookcase was a series of eagles and a chest of drawers that Thor learned contained art supplies. There were beanbags scattered around, thick, squishy purple monstrosities that looked like they would swallow you if you sat in them. There were also tables with comfortable chairs around them, and on one of the tables was a plate piled high with buttered toast. Thor's stomach grumbled and he made his way over to the plate, grabbing a few slices and eating them as he looked around. 

For the size of the room, there weren't a lot of people to occupy it. Excluding Loki, Thor counted 6, and they all looked to be around the same age as he was. Loki himself had scampered off to two people sitting by the window, and was kneeling down beside a man with longish dark brown hair.

"Hey! You, over there!" A voice called and Thor drew his eyes away from Loki to see three people sitting at a table. The man who had spoken was significantly shorter than Thor, with short sandy hair and an jovial, open face. He was grinning and waving Thor over, and the tow people he was with were nodding. There was a pile of cards in front of them, and Thor shoved the last piece of toast into his mouth and walked over.

"I'm Clint." The man said, leaning over the table and disrupting the pile of cards. The red-headed women next to him smacked him sharply, and Clint grinned and seized Thor's hand, pumping it hard before dropping it and slithering back into his chair. 

"Thor. Odinson." Thor said.

"Sit down, sit down!" The brown haired man on the other side of the redhead looked up and Thor and waved to the spare seat. Thor frowned. He was certain that he had seen the man before.

"Natasha Romanov." Said the redhead, speaking with a faint accent. She was truly beautiful, with wide, pale green eyes and a slightly sly expression on her face. The hair on the back of Thor's neck stood up, and he immediately sensed that she wasn't a person to cross. The man with brown hair had intricately detailed facial hair and large brown eyes, and if Thor wasn't so immediately taken with Loki, he might have made a move.

"I'm Tony Stark. Welcome to the Nut House." He said, and Thor's jaw dropped,

"Tony Stark? As in, the man who...ah shit." Thor said when he saw Tony's face drop. "I guess that's my answer." Thor muttered and looked around.

There was a man sitting on the carpeted area in front of the bookcases, with pale skin and curly brown hair. He was deeply engrossed in the book he was reading, and so Thor looked over to where Loki was sitting. Along with the man with long brown hair was a small, painfully thin young man with bleach blond hair and a thin pointed face. He was drawing on a pad of paper, talking softly to the brown haired man.

"So why are you here?" Clint asked after a very uncomfortable silence. Thor sighed and leaned back, running his hands through his hair and pulling harshly at the knots forming as it dried. 

"Apparently I'm mad." Thor said with a humourless laugh.

"We're all mad here." Natasha waved a hand at the room. "How are you specifically mad?"

Thor laughed again, this time with real humour. If there was a slight edge of hysteria to his laughter, then nobody pointed it out. "I killed someone."

He expected gasps and the table to clear. Instead Natasha and Clint nodded slowly and Tony drew his eyes away from the window and looked at Thor with serious eyes.

"So did I." He said softly. Thor let out a deep breath.

"So...it's true." Thor whispered. Tony nodded. "Including the suit?"

Tony nodded. "Yep."

Thor fiddled with his fingers, and then Tony gustily sighed. "You want to know what happened."

"Yes please." Thor said immediately.

"Right. So I was fiddling around in my fathers lab-"

"Tony." Natasha said warningly, and Tony sucked his lower lip in before putting on a sulky face. "Tell the truth."

"Fine. I was building a mechanical suit. In the basement. I was experimenting with ARC reactor technology to try and make the suit more energy efficient and something went wrong. I think I overestimated the amount of energy I was using and it...uh...exploded outwards." Tony ground his teeth and once again focused his attention on the window. "I was behind a set of metallic doors when it happened, but the explosion collapsed the floor above and my...mother...was there. She was crushed by the falling debris."

Thor frowned. "But surely that was an accident. How did you end up here?" He didn't realise how exactly that sentence sounded until he spoke it, and then winced. "Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry. It's been 3 years, I've got over it." Tony said with a brittle smile.

"Sure." Clint said under his breath, and then jumped and yelped as Natasha pinched the skin of his arm.

"The suit was buried in the same rockfall, and couldn't be extracted. So when I told my dad what exactly had happened, he didn't believe me. I got landed here because I wouldn't change my story."

"Ah." Thor said and sat back. He mulled the story over in his mind before picking something up. "You've been here for 3 years?"

"Yeah." Tony sighed.

"How old are you now?"

"M' 25. Why?" Tony frowned at Thor as he went white and buried his face into his hands.

'Oh god. Oh god.' Thor thought in a panic. 'I'm going to die in here.'

"It's okay." Clint patted Thor's shoulder kindly. 

Thor breathed in and out slowly. He managed to get himself under control before looking at Natasha and Clint. "What about the two of you?" He asked, desperately hoping for some good news.

Natasha looked at her cards. "Been in a year with Clint. I'm 19 now, I was 17 when I got here."

"How?"

"I was a ballerina. A good one. I was Prima Ballerina for the Moscow Ballet Company. We were dancing here in New York, Swan Lake. But in the middle of the Black Swan's dance, I realised that..." Natasha sighed. "Everything I had been working for, everything that I was, was because my parents had wanted it. The only thing I had for myself was Clint."

"I worked backstage." Clint said with a soft smile.

"I stopped dancing, and just...started screaming. I screamed at my parents, my co-stars. At the scenery, at everything. It was too much, I wanted a life for myself. So I tried to run away with Clint."

"They caught us." Clint took over, taking Natasha's hand and stroking the knuckles with his thumb. "We made it to Grand Central Station before we were seen. They sent Natasha here because she refused to go back, and I came with her."

"O...kay." Thor said. He couldn't get his mind around the fact that someone had willingly committed themselves to a mental asylum. He looked around and nodded his head to the man sitting reading. "What about him?"

"That's Bruce. He's been here about...what is it Tony," Clint turned to Tony, eyebrows furrowed. "He came shortly after you."

"Yeah. He was 19, so he's about 22 now. He came in because he's prone to Hulking out."

"Hulking out?" Thor asked with a frown.

"Yeah. It's what he calls his rages. He gets freakishly strong when that happens, there's nothing that can stop him. I once saw him pick up one of the bookcases and throw it across the room."

"Holy shit." Thor breathed. The man sitting on the beanbag looked so mild he wouldn't even kill spiders if they crawled into his bathtub.

"They can't even tranq him when he gets like that." Clint said. "His skin gets super strong, the only thing is to let him calm down."

"God." Thor said. He felt sick. The man, Bruce, frowned as he was reading and looked at the table. 

"Something wrong Brucey?" Tony cooed, and Bruce smiled and shook his head. He closed the book he was reading and walked over, holding out a hand to shake. Thor held out his own and was taken about by how hard Bruce squeezed his knuckles. 

"Bruce Banner. Pleasure." He said with a smile. Despite himself Thor smiled back. His manner and general air were convivial and friendly. But his eyes were tumultuous, and Thor could see the thinly concealed rage hidden behind the friendliness. Like Natasha, this was not a person to cross.

"Thor Odinson."

"Has Tony been introducing everyone?" Bruce pulled up a chair and sat down, looking around. Without looking, Natasha dealt him a hand and he picked up his cards without looking. 

"Yes. Who are those people, with Loki?" Thor asked, pointing. 

"The Men Out Of Time?" Clint said, leaning back in his chair. Thor could hear the capitals.

"Huh?" Thor said, confused.

"That's Steve and Bucky. Steve claims that they were both born in 1924, and have been frozen since they were 17."

"Frozen by what?"

Clint shrugged. "Didn't say. Anyway, they've been here for about 2 years. They got woken up somehow and were found in Central Park, wandering around and crying."

"Which one is Steve?" Thor whispered.

"Steve's the blond one. Bucky's the brunette."

"Bucky?"

"Yeah." Tony said. "Steve said his name is James Buchanan Barnes, so he got Bucky as a nickname."

Thor frowned. "He didn't introduce himself?"

Everyone looked at each other. There was an air of tension, and finally Bruce sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair. "Bucky doesn't talk."

"At all?"

"Nope. Hasn't said a word since they both got here. He's catatonic, the only people he reacts too are Steve and Loki."

There was a long silence as everyone either started playing cards again or looked at the group by the window. Finally Steve threw his stick of charcoal down and stood up, glaring at them. He leaned over Bucky and whispered in his ear before taking his elbow gently and making him stand, walking them both slowly towards the group sitting. Loki, seeing where they were headed, bounded over to Thor and managed to squash himself into Thor's lap. Thor grunted. Loki was bony and somewhat uncomfortable, but he still put his arms around Loki's waist to keep him still.

"Hello." Steve said. He had a surprisingly deep voice for his size, and, whilst his face was even pointier and thinner up close, it was friendly. His eyes were bright blue, and he held out large hand for Thor to shake. The man behind him was taller, with a frame that suggested he was meant to be more muscular than he currently was. His cheekbones were pronounced and he had thick, very kissable lips. His blank eyes were grey, properly grey, and Thor had never seen eyes like it before. Their blankness sent a shiver up his spine.

"I'm Thor." Thor said, unwinding a hand from around Loki's waist and shaking Steve's hand. 

"Steve Rogers. Has everyone been telling you as to how we're insane?' He said. His voice was kind, but there was an undercurrent of steel.

"Uh..." Thor didn't know how to answer, and so shrugged. Loki hummed softly and snuggled his face into Thor's neck. Thor patted his back gently.

"What about you?" Steve asked, bringing up a couple of chair and sitting both himself and Bucky down. Buck swayed and then turned his head to continue staring out of the window. 

"How did you land here?" Bruce asked. Thor sighed and leant back, and Loki started stroking his hair.

"There was this guy, at my school. A bully, a real peace of work."

"School?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah." Thor said with a sigh. "I'm 18."

"Awww, our baby." Tony said, and grinned widely when Thor glared at him. 

"He was harassing me. Slapping me, getting into my personal space. That last time, he told me I didn't belong. Told me to go back where I came from. I...lost control."

"How?" Clint breathed.

"I electrocuted him."

There was a silence, before Tony said "Huh?"

"I summoned lighting and burnt him to ash." Thor said, tasting bitterness in the back of his throat. Loki, feeling him tense, whimpered and started pressing kisses to Thor's neck.

"You what?" Steve gasped. Bucky, sitting next to him, flinched sharply and Steve turned, shushing him gently and gripping his hand tightly.

"I don't know how I did it." Thor said fairly. "I just remember a surge of power and lightening coming from the sky, and then the white cleared and Tyr was dead, reduced to a pile of ash on the ground."

"And you're positive that you did it." Natasha said, face slightly disbelieving.

"Yes. I'm positive." Thor said, voice strong. "I maintained that this is what happened during my trial, and now I'm here."

There was a long silence before Tony started giggling. Bruce joined in, sounding chocked and Clint and Natasha started chuckling. Steve laughed, and soon everyone was laughing, mass hysteria making them wheeze their way through until they were collectively wiping their eyes. 

"Well," Bruce said, standing up and slapping Thor on the shoulder, "with that story, you're definitely going to fit in."

Loki lipped at Thor's skin, moving impossibly close, and as Thor's tightened around him, he thought that this situation might not be as torturous as previously thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a little sign, a review or kudos. It keeps me going and really lifts my spirits!


	3. Inside Glass Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even outside, Thor feels trapped. But his new friends are there with him, and he slowly starts getting the pieces of the puzzle together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been such a long time since I've updated. To be honest, I was taking a short break from writing, because I'm back at University (long distance course). I've just been sorting everything out, getting back into a schedule. But now I'm back, and I hope i don't disappoint.

Thor soon got used to waking up in the morning with Loki pressed into his throat, his scarred lips resting on Thor's pulse and his crotch neatly nestling with Thor's. Loki refused to wear clothes to bed, even kicking back the sheets as the nights got warmer, and so now Thor took to tying Loki's hair back into a short plait, to keep it off his neck. Loki would respond by wrapping his arms around Thor's shoulders and lipping at the skin of his neck, giggling softly and humming. 

Despite his skinniness, Loki was a dead weight whilst asleep, and Thor would contend himself with looking at the pieces of paper stuck to the walls above Loki's abandoned bed. Loki had started utilising Thor's space, and, whilst Thor was never going to be able to read what equations Loki had scribbled, it made his soul feel better to see that Loki was migrating over to Thor's bed. 

Thor had only questioned Loki once about the math he was writing, about the spells he noted down. He had sat down beside Loki in the day room, Steve reading to Bucky out of the corner of his eye.

"What do you write about?" He has asked. Loki turned his head slowly, black hair whisping across his shoulders. For some reason he had stripped down to his vest the minute he had entered the room, despite the temperature being only mild. 

"The spells and math?" Loki had said. He had shuffled over on the couch he was sitting on, and Thor took the hint and sat down beside him, not even surprised when Loki then pushed himself up onto Thor's lap. He hummed happily and put his pencil down, patting Thor's hands which were wrapped around Loki's waist. 

"Yes."

"Math is the language of the universe. Everything is made up of numbers, equations, probability. It's beautiful." Loki said dreamily.

Thor watched Loki with a small smile. "How can there be math in nature? Nature is biology, chemical processes."

Loki leaned over and pulled out a sheet of paper, picking up his pencil and quickly sketching a shape. He handed it to Thor, who took it and studied it. He could feel someone looking over his shoulder and he turned to look at Steve, who was tilting his head to the side as he looked as well. Bucky was now with Natasha, who was brushing his tangled mass of brown hair. 

"What's this?" Thor asked Loki.

"A nautilus." Loki said. He blinked his green eyes sleepily, and tucked his head under Thor's chin.

"What has this got to do with math in nature?" Thor said, smiling down at Loki.

"The Fibonacci sequence. Phi, number 1.681." Loki had murmured into Thor's skin, and pressed a deep kiss into the hollow of his neck.

"It's beautiful." Steve said under his breath, and Thor had handed the sheet to Steve, who took it and studied the shape with narrowed, expert eyes. 

"You going to sleep now, Loki?" Thor had asked gently, jiggling Loki on his lap and grinning when Loki swatted him with weak, sleepy hands. 

"My brain hurts. You'll keep watch in case he comes?" Loki had whispered, looking up at Thor. His eyes were unfocused and his yawned widely.

Thor had no idea who to look out for, so he had only nodded and felt Loki slipping into sleep. Steve sat down beside Thor and neatly organised the papers into a pile of Loki's scribblings and the spare paper. He then started drawing the people around him, of which Bucky featured prominently. 

It was a pleasant morning when Thor woke up, Loki curled up on his chest and snoring softly. The window was open and a warm breeze wafted gently throughout the room, and Thor let out a deep breath, running his fingers over the knobs on Loki's back and rubbing the scars softly. Loki groaned and kicked out, catching Thor's knee and making Thor wince.

"Loki, wake up." Thor said, poking Loki in the ribs. Loki giggled and blinked himself awake, focusing on Thor and gently undulating against Thor, wrapping his arms around Thor's neck and nuzzling his jaw. 

"Good morning." Loki murmured and kissed Thor gently. Thor kissed back, massaging the scarred lips gently, and then Loki gently disengaged and stood up, stretching and walking over to the window. Thor sat up and watched as Loki pulled himself up onto the sill, reaching out a hand and waving it gently through the air.

"It's warm." Loki said, looking over his shoulder. "They might let us outside." 

Thor looked sharply at Loki, and saw that Loki was looking directly at him with clear, serious eyes. The hairs on the back of Thor's neck stood up. 

This was the first time he had seen Loki sane. It was frighteningly sobering, a bleak reminder that this is what Loki must have been like before everything had gone wrong. The Loki in front of Thor was had all his wits about him, was calculating and clear and yet still somewhat ethereal. 

"Thor?" Loki said, frowning and tilting his head. The illusion was gone, and the Loki Thor was familiar with was back. He hopped down from the sill and skipped over to Thor, wrapping his arms around Thor's shoulders and resting his head against Thor's.

"It's nothing, Loki." Thor said. He wrapped his arms around Loki's back and braced himself as Loki jumped up and wrapped his legs around Thor's waist. Loki giggled as Thor walked the room.

"You having fun?" Thor asked wryly. Loki nodded.

"Giddy up, horsey!" Loki yelled and Thor laughed. 

Thor bounced Loki gently until the door was opened, and Coulson came into the room. He grinned when he saw Loki rubbing his face into Thor's hair like a cat. 

"Loki said we might be able to go outside." Thor blurted out, crouching down and letting Loki slide off. 

Coulson raised an eyebrow. "Loki said that?" He asked mildly. Loki wandered off to his bed and was digging underneath his mattress for his spare clothes, humming gently. Thor's cheeks flushed when he saw Loki's bare backside wriggling in the morning air. 

Thor nodded and Coulson walked to the door, looking over his shoulder to Thor. "He's right. It's a nice enough day that you all can go outside. With supervision, of course."

Thor's mood soured slightly, but he sighed and took Loki's elbow, guiding him gently out of the room. They showered quickly and Loki practically skipped to the day room, snatching up his toast and squishing himself between Bruce and the gap in the window. Thor smiled at him and sat down with Clint, neither talking as they both tried to wake up. 

It was a quiet morning, as Natasha and Tony did yoga on the comfortable rugs, and Steve drew with one hand in Bucky's hair. For the first time since Thor had arrived, Bucky was asleep, his hair wafting gently in front of his face.

The silence was peaceful until the door opened, and Rumlow stood in the door, smirking at everyone in the room.

"Everyone awake?" He said, voice booming. There was a sharp gasp and Thor turned to see Bucky jerk himself awake. His eyes were wide and wild and he scrambled back, taking in air like he was drowning. Steve reached down and wrapped his arms around Bucky's shoulder's, shushing gently into his hair. 

"You're all going outside today. Get up, put in your shoes. I won't wait."

Bucky had calmed down enough and was once again comatose, his grey eyes dull and blank. Steve was gently pulling on his shoes and Bruce was helping Loki with his own, before Loki bounded over to Thor and took his arm. He leaned his head against Thor's shoulder and walking in time with Thor. 

The group were shepherded to the back of the building, where there was a garden that Thor had never noticed before. It was beautifully decorated with beds of flowers along the sides and a huge oak tree dominating the space, the wide branches offering shade.

But there was a high brick wall surrounding the garden, to remind the group, and especially Thor, that they couldn't escape. Thor felt his heart clench in his chests and balled his fists, looking down at Loki. To his surprise, Loki was looking at the walls with narrowed eyes, his expression cold.

"Loki?" Thor asked again, remembering that moment in their room. 

"We're rats in a lab." Loki said. He dropped Thor's arm and walked slowly to the tree, tapping the wood with his nails and looking up into the branches. The rest of the group were also making their way towards the tree, the day slowly heating up and everyone wanting to take the shade.  

Thor was looking around when he saw, out of the corner of his eyes, Loki start crouching down. He turned to look as Loki, who was still looking up into the tree, leapt from a standing start and landed neatly on the closest branch. He scrambled up into the tree, giggling and talking to himself. 

Thor looked up at him, open mouthed. His brain had temporarily gone offline, and he looked around. Everyone was walking amongst themselves, settling down, with the exception of Natasha, who was staring back at him with a smirk on her face.

"Did you see..." Thor trailed off, pointing to where Loki was scrambling amongst the branches, happy as a clam.

"I occasionally forget that Loki can do things like that." She said. She walked to Thor and took that arm that Loki had abandoned, leading him to the rest of the group. She settled down against the tree and cuddled up to Clint, who put an arm around her shoulders and pressed an idle kiss into her hair. "He acts so...away with it. All the time. And then he does something like that and I'm reminded of the fact that he's not just mad, he's something else."

Thor tilted his head, and looked up into the tree. He heaved a deep sigh and took the book that Bruce handed him. He opened it to the front page and stared at the words, not seeing them.

"I want to ask you a question." Thor said after a few fruitless minutes, turning to Natasha.

"About why I'm here?" Natasha asked. Thor nodded and Clint leaned over, looking at Thor with a raised brow.

"From what you told me, you don't seem to qualify as...uh...mad."

Natasha sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "You must remember," she said after a heavy silence. "My breakdown was incredibly public. The whole audience, my parents. It was even being advertised on C-Span, so there were millions of people who saw me fall apart."

Frigga has loved ballet, Thor remembered. If Odin wasn't home, and neither of her son's objected, she would happily switch on the television and watch an entire ballet with a tub of ice cream. Thor used to tease her when he was younger, but as he got older he started to appreciate the dance, the way that the dancers seemed to defy gravity and the limits of their body to twist themselves into impossible shapes and flow like water.

It was also nice that the male ballet dancer's tights were so tight. 

He could see  _everything_.

"I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't enjoy it, I always wanted to do martial arts instead, but that wasn't lady-like enough for my parents. So I took Clint-"

"I'm not a piece of luggage." Clint grumbled good naturedly at her side, and then grunted when Natasha dug her arms into his ribs.

"We both ran together. But I had publicly embarrassed my parents and the company, and I had disgraced myself by choosing to be with Clint."

"I'm scum of the earth." Clint said happily, leaning around Natasha and grinning. Thor laughed and the branch above his rustled, sending a shower of leaves down to cover Thor's head. There was a snicker from the tree and a scrambling sound as Loki climbed higher.

"They had me committed to get me out of the way." Natasha said in a soft voice, with a sad smile on her face. Thor, on an impulse, reached over and took Natasha's hand, squeezing it. Natasha squeezed back, and Thor abruptly felt better about his situation. 

These were good people, and his friends. Thor could have landed himself in a much worse situation. 

"And you just..." Thor waved his hand, and Clint laughed.

"I wasn't leaving her. Not then, not now. Not ever."

Thor laughed and leaned back, closing his eyes and feeling the sunlight on his face. His breathing slowed, and he let himself slip deeply into a meditative state. It was halfway between sleep, and he let the voices of his friends surround him, for the first time since he had arrived feeling relaxed.

Some time later he felt something play wit his hair, and he opened his eyes to see Loki, who had his legs hooked around a branch and was letting his arms dangle down into Thor's hair. He saw that Thor was watching him and grinned, his green eyes dancing.

"You having fun?" Thor asked. Loki nodded.

"This may not be your weather, but you look good in the sunlight." Loki said. Thor's mouth twitched and he reached up and took Loki's hand, tapping his thumb against the knuckles. 

"I do like the sun." Thor said. 

"Summer storms. The lightening is always more powerful."

Loki's gaze was so direct that Thor started feeling uncomfortable, and he released Loki's hand as Loki swung himself upright. He looked down at Thor and pursed his lips, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth. 

"You can't do that yet." He said finally, eyes narrowed. "Not yet, but soon. Your's will come for you, and then you'll learn."

"Who'll come for me?" Thor asked. He was currently alone under the tree, the others having dispersed to enjoy the garden fully. So it didn't really matter if his voice carried slightly. 

"You'll find out. But not yet, Thor Lightning-Maker. Not yet." Loki stood up and grabbed the branch above him, pulling himself up so he could stick himself up out of the top of the tree.

"Is Loki being mysterious again?" Tony asked, coming over. He had been finishing his yoga with Natasha to catcalls from Clint, and he had pulled off his t-shirt to wipe his face. The middle of his chest was a wealth of scar tissue, and Thor stared before he realised that Tony was glaring at him.

"Sorry." Thor mumbled, and Tony shrugged and threw himself down on the ground beside Thor. 

"Don't worry about it. I've had worse reactions to it."

Thor frowned but nodded, watching as Natasha sat down on his opposite side. Clint was walking with Bucky, talking gently and touching the flowers. Bruce was meditating in the sunlight, the rays catching the grey strands in his hair, and Steve was sitting on the other side of the tree, one of Bruce's army of books in his hand. He wasn't reading, however, and was just staring at Bucky with sad eyes. 

"You've been here for 2 years?" Thor asked Natasha slowly. She shook her head.

"No, 1 year."

"But you said that you were 17 when you got here."

Natasha gave a bitter smile. "I was a week off my 18th birthday." 

"And Clint arrived the same time as you?"

"Yeah. He's 20 now. Why are you asking?"

Thor shook his head. "I...don't..."

"Is it about Loki?" Tony asked. 

Thor sighed but nodded his head, and Tony looked up into the trees. He didn't react when he saw a pair of emerald's looking down at him, before they blinked away. He looked at Thor with serious brown eyes and scratched his chin, before sighing and putting his hands behind his head. 

"What do you know about him?" Thor finally asked. Tony used his lips into a hard line and looked at Thor through hooded, dark eyes. On his other side, Natasha sat wth crossed legs and her elbows resting on them, her face cradled in her hands. 

"You of all people know how difficult it is getting a straight answer out of him." Natasha said. Thor shrugged.

"I've been here the longest, and I know barely anything." Tony finally said. 

"Tell me anything." Thor ordered sharply, and Tony sighed. 

"He's been here the longest out of all of us. Six years. Coulson told me he's about 21 now."

Thor gaped at him. "He was committed when he was 15?" He finally got out, and in the tree above him, Loki closed his eyes and wrapped his thin arms around his chest, looking down at his love below him.

"Yeah. I mean, I've been here for half the time he has, but he's had the same carers from the beginning. His Dad is some politician from Britain, wanted to hide his dirty little secret in America." Tony snorted bitterly. 

"Do we know what happened to get him committed?" 

Tony looked at Natasha, who shrugged. "There was...he did something at a rally his Dad was throwing. He had been twitchy for a while, and was only brought out because the local papers had been accusing his father of burying his dirty secret." Natasha said, and nodded when Tony snorted.

"How prophetic." He muttered in a low voice.

"So Loki was brought on stage, with carefully combed back hair and a Saville Row suit, and stood with his parents and brothers, and shook and shook. Then..." Natasha spread her hands and shrugged, looking apologetic. "The camera shorted out."

Thor tilted his head in confusion. "You've seen the footage."

Natasha and Tony nodded. "It's weird. I mean, it looks like Loki is in the middle of a breakdown. Crying and everything. And then he throws out his arms and shouts somethings, and you can hear an explosion in the background, and then the camera goes static." Tony said, running his hands through his hair.

"How did you see it?" 

"Coulson showed us. Loki was asleep in his rooms, and wasn't waking up. Coulson took the opportunity to show us the footage before he destroyed it." Natasha said. 

Thor frowned and leant back against the tree, fiddling with his fingers. Finally he heaved a sigh and thumped his head back against the tree.

"Did he have no one staying with him until me?" He finally asked.

"No. He didn't want anyone else." Natasha said promptly. 

"He seems to get along with everyone." Thor asked in confusion. 

"Yeah." Tony snorted. "But I once tried to share his room, and he literally kicked he out. I have a bruise in the shape of his foot on my ass for weeks."

Thor finally snorted and was about to ask for more stories when Natasha and Tony looked up sharply. Thor followed their gaze and saw two people standing at the entrance to the garden. hey were both in lab coats, and both of the men wore genial expressions. And yet, for some reason, Natasha and Tony were stiffened with fear.

"Mr Rogers, Mr Banner," the shorter of the two men called, rubbing his hands together. "It's time for your tests." 

Bruce opened his eyes and stood up, dusting himself off with shaking hands. Thor heard a sigh from the other side of the tree and Steve slammed the book shut, standing as well. They both walked slowly to the doctors, Bruce with his head down and his hands forced into his pockets, Steve looking at Bucky. Thor looked at Bucky as well and felt his stomach sink.

Bucky was staring at Steve, his face infused with sorrow and his arm outstretched. Even from the tree Thor could hear the whimpers Bucky's throat was emitting, and Clint was grasping his arm hard to prevent him from running over. Thor's eyes felt wet, and he stood up slowly to walk over to Bucky. When Bruce and Steve had been marched off, Bucky's knees gave way and he crumbled to the ground, breath hiccupping in his chest.

"Where are they going?" Thor whispered.

"The basement." Tony whispered in dread, and Thor felt cold. He moved forward, but the tree above his head rustled and Loki jumped down. He strode over to Bucky and knelt down by his side, wrapping his arms around Bucky's shoulder's and bringing him to his chest. Loki pressed his scarred lips to Bucky's head and rocked him slowly, humming gently, as Clint walked to where Natasha was standing with her hands in front of her mouth.

Thor's chest squeezed and he rubbed his hands together. Something cold dropped down onto his face and he looked up to see clouds rapidly encroaching in the sky, fat with rain. He looked down and saw Loki's eyes piercing him over Bucky's head.

"The sky is sad, because you are sad." Something whispered into Thor's ear, and couldn't help but agree.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Are your family coming?" Bruce asked Thor two weeks later. The weather had taken a nasty turn, and everyone was stretching out in the day room. Loki was fast asleep in a heap at Thor's feet, and Steve, Tony and Bucky were huddled next to the window, reading or drawing. Clint and Natasha were doing stretches on the carpet, and Bruce and Thor were reading at the tables. The question had come completely out of the blue, and Thor frowned at Bruce.

"Coming to what?" He said, feeling Loki snuggle up to his ankle. 

"Family hour."

Thor felt his stomach swoop, and he put down his book to stare at Bruce. "I didn't know family was allowed to come."

Bruce shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "It's only really once a month, and then not for very long. I mean, it's mental institution. We might be dangerous and attack." The smirk he shot at Thor was dry and humourless, and Thor wondered exactly what had happened that had caused Bruce to think that.

But his thoughts were consumed with the idea that he might get to see his parents again, and so he waited for the Family Hour with bated breath. Loki seemed to sense his waning concentration and was more forward than normal, constantly pulling at Thor's hair and holding him tightly at night. 

But the time came, and Steve walked up to Loki as everyone made their way slowly to a part of the complex that Thor had never been too before. Loki was holding his arm and plucking at his sleeve, and then Steve was standing beside, putting a hand onto Loki's shoulder.

"I want to draw, Loki. Do you fancy being a model?" He asked kindly. Bucky was leaning against the wall, looking at the ceiling and with long fingers picking at the fibres of his pants, and Loki looked at Steve and Bucky, and then looked back at Thor. Thor looked at Steve's face over Loki's head, and his blue eyes were flinty and hard. He shook his head gently and Thor sighed before untangling Loki's fingers and kissing his palm.

"Go with them, Loki." He said gently. Loki looked at him and made to argue back, but Steve took his hand and led him away. Thor watched him go and then turned back to the others.

"His family doesn't come." Clint said. He was rubbing his hands together and looked a bit sad, lips quirking. "It's better if he doesn't come in."

"Ah." Was all Thor could say, before shaking his head and walking in.

It was a small room, and the families who had come were already seated at tables. Tony walked up to a man and a woman, hugging both of the tightly. 

"Pepper, Rhodey." He said. Tony wasn't even embarrassed by his public display affection. The suffocating atmosphere of the Institution made anyone craze a morsel of affection, and these two people loved him best in the world. They say down and Pepper brought out some papers, letting Tony catch up on company events that his father had banned him from.

Bruce was enveloped by a small woman with curly hair, and he buried his face into her shoulder. "Mom." He whispered.

"Hello Darling." She sniffled and Bruce hugged her tighter. 

Clint clapped his hands with delight and walked over to where a blond woman was sitting on the table, tapping on her phone. She put the phone down and jumped into Clint's arms, laughing as he spun her around.

"Hi Clint, hi Natasha!" She exclaimed. Clint eventually let her go and she hugged Natasha, clasping her tight. 

"Hello, Bobbi." Natasha said and kissed her on the cheek. They too sat down and started talking animatedly about the theatre and Clint's circle of friends. Natasha was treated as a member of the family, her relationship with Clint seen as close as a marriage, considering he had elected to get committed to stay with Natasha rather than leave her alone.

Thor looked at all of the reunions with a smile on his face, and then he smelt something that sent a lump to his throat, and he turned around to see his mother, father and brother standing by a table. His mother's perfume tingled in his nostrils, and he sniffled and practically ran over, throwing himself into his mother's arms.

"Mum!" He gasped. He mother whimpered and stroked his hair, and he could feel his brother and father complete the circle, hugging him tightly.

They swayed together gently before finally detaching, sitting down and smiling at each other. Thor hadn't realised how much he had missed his family until he saw them, his mother with her hair done up, his father pursing his lips and his brother trying to discreetly wipe his eyes. 

"His guys." He said through a slightly choked voice, and Baldr gave a strangled laugh.

"How are you, Thor?" Odin asked, leaning over the table. Thor shrugged and looked down at his hands, fingers twisting together.

"I'm okay, Dad. It's not as bad I thought." He finally said, looking up and giving a weak smile. Odin's lips thinned and he looked angry, and Thor simply looked at him. 

"There's not as many people as I thought there would be." Baldr said, looking around. Thor nodded.

"There's only 8 of us. I mean, the place isn't huge, but I also thought there would be more people."

"But there's-"

"Don't ask." Thor said sharply. His mind briefly turned to Loki, Bucky and Steve, who had no one and were spending the day alone, with only each other as company. 

Baldr looked at him, and the nodded and closed his mouth. Frigga leaned over and took Thor's hand.

"You look thinner." She said. Thor shrugged. 

"I eat enough, don't worry. There's no excessive equipment, so maybe that's the reason I look thin."

"I don't worry about that. I just want you to take care of yourself." Frigga murmured, looking angry for a second. Thor's heart squeezed when he saw this, and he was abruptly reminded why both he and Baldr had spent the majority of their lives avoiding their mother's wrath. 

"I'll be fine, Mum. What's been happening at your end?" He asked, desperate to change the subject. 

Baldr was in the middle of a funny story about his football team when, out of the corner of his eye, Thor saw Clint look up from the card game he was having with Bobbi and Natasha and turned white. He put down his cards and stood up, and Thor held up a hand to stop Baldr from talking and stood up as well, following Clint's gaze.

"Shit." He heard Tony swear. 

Loki was hovering at the forward, one hand buried into his hair and the other picking at the frayed end of his scrub top. He had removed his shoes, and was practically silent as he crept into the room. His eyes jumped everywhere, and he tugged at his hair as his expression dropped further. He padded to the first table and looked around.

"Ma?" He asked softly. Thor felt something squeeze in his chest, and he stood up as well. His family were silent behind him, and watched as Loki continued to look around, his bottom lip starting to wobble. "Ma?" He called again, and there was a sniffle from Bruce as he watched the pitiful display. 

"Da?" Loki whispered, and tears started to escape his eyes. Loki gasped and buried his face into his arm, sobbing like a child. 

The sobs echoed through the hall, the only sound being made. Behind Loki, Steve and Bucky were standing at the door. Bucky had his arm around Steve and was resting his head into Steve's hair, his face blank but his grip strong. Steve looked at Thor and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. Thor nodded and Steve gave him a weak smile. 

"Thor?" Frigga whispered. Thor didn't turn, but watched as Loki sobbed without shame. When Loki rubbed his eyes, sniffling, Thor sighed and walked over. He reached Loki and tapped him on the shoulder, and Loki looked up, eyes still leaking tears.

"They never come." Loki said through a hitched breath and whimpered again. 

"It's okay." Thor whispered and drew Loki to his chest. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's chest and clung on, trying to breath normally. Thor looked at Steve and Steve nodded, taking Bucky's hand and leading him away. Bruce, Natasha, Tony and Clint all settled down, and Thor walked Loki back to his family, who were gazing at him in astonishment.

"Thor..." Odin said but trailed off. Thor sat down and Loki sat on his lap, tucking his head beneath Thor's chin with a wet sigh. 

"This is Loki." Thor said, and Loki turned his head to look at Thor's family. He eyed them carefully, hand's picking at Thor's top, before leaning over and offering his hand.

"Pleasure, I'm sure." Loki said. Thor felt momentarily discombobulated, as Loki sounded completely sane.

"It's good to meet you, Loki." Frigga said with a smile, and shook his hand. Baldr followed, but Odin was slower, eyeing Loki carefully. Loki was returning his wary gaze with interest, and eventually Odin grasped his hand, shaking briskly and squeezing hard. 

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, before the family realised that Loki wasn't going to move, and then Baldr took the plunge and decided to finish his story. For the rest of the half hour, Thor talked with his family, and Loki rested his head against Thor's chest and watched them.

When the bell rang, signalling the end of the hour, Thor felt his heart squeeze and he slowly stood up, dislodging Loki. Loki stretched and walked over to Clint, patting him on the head and then offering his arm to Natasha. Natasha took it with a smile and they walked to the entrance. 

"Bye, Mum, Baldr." Thor said in a chocked voice and hugged them tightly. They smiled at him and Frigga kissed his forehead, and then walked to the door. Odin took Thor by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. 

"You know that you only need to say that you killed that boy with other means, and you can escape this place." He said. 

Thor frowned. "Why? I'm here already."

Odin tightened his grip on Thor's shoulders and looked over his head. "That boy, Loki. He's dangerous. I don't want you to be here with him."

Thor looked over his shoulder and saw Loki standing at the door. His face was serious and cold, and his eyes were once again piercing Thor. He felt like a moth on a board, pinned as he was by that gaze. 

' _Tell the truth_.' Something whispered in his mind, and Thor turned back to Odin and squared his shoulders.

"I killed Tyr with lightning." He said firmly. "I did it, and nothing can change that."

Odin sighed and pulled his son to his chest, hugging him tightly and promising to be there for the next family day, before releasing Thor and walking to where his family was waiting. With a final wave, they departed, and Thor wondered, for a brief second, if he had done the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear, math is singularly my worst subject. I was, and still am, completely pants at it. I do understand, however, how important it is to life in general, so decided to make Loki a veritable expert in it.
> 
> I will try to update this as often as possible, and this WILL be completed, but I also have a couple of works in the same fandom I am working on, so this update schedule will not be as regular as Castle of Glass.
> 
> Please leave me a review or kudos. PLEASE!!!!!


	4. Golden Dawn With Black Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S.H.I.E.L.D is decoded for Thor, we find out what Loki does during the day, and then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so SO sorry for the wait. I am doing a long distance university course to finish my degree, and I have had to switch my priorities to studying so I get a decent grade. But now I have 2 months of nothing, so rest assured, this will now be updated and hopefully finished before my new course starts in October. 
> 
> Thanks for anyone who waited.

The wind whistled through the bars, strong enough to shake the window, and Thor jerked awake abruptly. He gasped and watched the window rattle, before turning his head. Loki was squashed into the tiny space between the wall and the edge of the pillow, knees drawn up to his chin and staring at Thor with his piercing eyes.

"You had a nightmare." He whispered. Thor got his breathing under control and shivered as his sweat cooled on his skin.

"I don't remember." Thor said and sat up against the head of the bed. Loki, to Thor's surprise, didn't immediately crawl into his lap, but continued to stare at Thor with slightly narrowed eyes. "Is something wrong?" Thor asked in an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence. 

"You need to control it." Loki hissed, face pulling into a snarl. Thor jolted in surprise. "You need to control the storm in your skin."

Thor opened his mouth to argue, and then realised that Loki was right. He felt like there was lightning in his veins, and when he raised a hand and swung it, the wind outside abruptly changed direction and stopped battering the window. The whistling was somehow soothing, and Thor felt a smile tickle his lips. He knew he should be afraid, but he wasn't.

"That's it." Loki said in a soothing voice, and Thor turned his head to watch Loki unfold and slip beneath the covers. As Thor calmed down, so did the wind outside, and he once again slid down into the covers to join Loki. Loki dug himself into Thor's side and grabbed Thor's arms to wrap around his waist, pasting Thor's hands to his icy skin. Thor jumped and then laughed. 

"You're really cold." Thor said and Loki giggled, wriggling. 

"You made me cold." Loki snickered. 

"Sorry."

"No." Loki looked up, luminous eyes fixing on Thor's. "Anything you do to me can only be good. Besides, I like the cold."

"Well, if you like it..." Thor grinned and bent down, licking a stipe up Loki's nose and then blowing on it. His breath was stronger than usual, and blew Loki's hair away from his face. Loki squirmed with pleasure and laughed, wrapping his arms around Thor's neck and nuzzling his skin. Thor rolled onto his back, taking Loki with him, and watched as the window continued to rattle. Loki continued giggling and wriggling, and pressed tiny little kisses to Thor's chest and neck. 

"Loki?" Thor asked suddenly.

"Hmm?" Loki sighed.

"Are you happy?" 

Loki stopped kissing Thor's chest and sat up slowly, looking at Thor with a quizzical expression. He nibbled his bottom lip as he stared around the room, at his long abandoned bed and the paper that had managed to move and was slowly covering the wall the bed sat against. Loki frowned and looked at Thor, lying on the bed with his hand gently resting on Loki's naked hip.

"Happiness is relative and changeable." Loki finally said. Thor huffed a laugh.

"Are you happy, relative to Loki?" He asked again. Loki nibbled his fingers and then lay down. Instead of spreading himself out all over Thor, as was his usual, he tucked himself into Thor side, using Thor's bicep as a pillow.

"Not at the moment." He said matter of factly. Thor felt something in his stomach drop and it was his turn to frown. 

"Why?" He asked through a slightly strangled voice. Loki turned his head up to look at Thor, and, seeing the expression on his face, he own smoothed out and he reached up, rubbing a thumb gently against the crinkle between Thor's eyes.

"Oh, it's got nothing to do with you." Loki said lightly. He then giggled. "And yet everything to do with you."

Thor decided that Loki's brief bout of sanity was once again dissipated and wrapped his other arm around Loki, bringing Loki hard again his chest and letting out a deep sigh. His eyes felt heavy and he let them drift close, about to slip off into sleep before he heard Loki whisper again.

"Not happy now," Loki mouthed against Thor's skin. "Not happy now, but I will be soon."

Thor dropped off into sleep, steadfastly ignoring the icy feeling spreading down his spine. Loki's words didn't sound like the ramblings of a mad man.

They sounded, instead, like a premonition. 

 

 

***********

 

 

Thor always felt tempted to ignore the banging on the door that came in the morning, instead trying to grab as much sleep as possible. Unfortunately, Loki had got into a stage of abrupt wakefulness, and wasn't shy about dragging Thor with him to consciousness. The minute the banging on the door started, Loki bolted upright and bounced out of the bed, walking to the sink and sticking his head under the tap to drink. 

"How are you possible?" Thor groaned, sitting up and dragging his hair through his tangled hair. Loki stopped drinking and grinned at him. 

"Beautiful in the mornings." He murmured, walking to the window. Loki leaned against the frame and looked out, eyes glazing as his mind went to a different place. Thor got out of bed and went to join Loki. He put a hand on Loki's shoulder and felt Loki slowly lan back until he was resting against Thor's chest. It felt only natural to wrap his arms around Loki and cuddle him.

It was a beautiful morning, one that comes just after a storm. The sky was clear and blue, and the smell of fresh grass permeated the air. Loki, who was being his knees slightly to fit into Thor's arm's, took a big sniff and then sighed with contentment. 

"This is something else." Thor whispered into Loki's ear, and Loki giggled and then released himself. He walked to his bed and put on pants before turning to Thor and throwing him his. Thor caught them and slipped them on, waiting for the door to bang open and Rumlow to fill the space. 

"Fucking loonies, up before they're supposed to." Rumlow muttered and jerked his head. Thor felt anger grow in his chest, but didn't move to do anything. The one time he had complained to someone about how Rumlow treated them, and especially Loki, they had been locked into their room for 24 hours. Both Loki and Thor had had to pee in the sink, and eventually, after 7 hours of Loki banging on the door, screaming to be let out, they had fallen into uncomfortable and frightening dreams that Thor couldn't remember in the morning, but which had Loki practically comatose for the next few days. The only thing that Thor had managed to glean from Loki was that he had felt 'trapped and hopeless'.

Thor washed himself briskly, now used to the stares of the guards. He was trying to keep in shape as much as possible, doing sit-ups, crushes and whatever he could in his room whilst Loki watched him. He had tried to involve Loki, but Loki had dug his heels into the ground and refused so emphatically that Thor never asked again. 

"Loki, you have to wash." Thor said softly, and Loki jerked from where he was standing to grin at Thor. 

"Good Thor, always watching my back." He said dreamily and took the soap from Thor, rubbing it over his body. He finished and rinsed himself off, tilting hushed back and reminding Thor to wash his hair. Loki enjoyed the fingers massaging his scalp, and on really bad morning's, when Loki was manic and jumpy, it was one of the only ways to calm him down. 

They dried off with efficiency, and then got into their clothes. As the weather was getting better, their clothes had changed from long sleeves to sleepless shorts, and their pants were now a soft cotton fabric, breathable and light. They still wore their slippers, but now had the option of taking them off when they needed too. 

They walked to the day room, where Thor could smell toast. They walked into the room, and Loki leaned up and kissed Thor on the cheek. 

"I'm not staying with you today." He said kindly and immediately walked off, snatching a handful of buttered toast in a napkin and walking to where Bucky and Steve were holed up against the window. Thor watched him go with a frown, and then shook himself and walked to where everyone else was sitting. 

"Morning." Bruce said and poured out a cup of coffee. Thor had been slightly surprised that coffee was supplied to mental patients, but since his first sip, he recognised that coffee was supplied simply to keep the patients, such as they were, quiet and compliant. Thor had ridiculed his father for his coffee addiction, but now recognised that without it, he would spend the day drooling on the couch. 

"Loki's abandoned you today?" Tony asked, grinning and passing Thor the marmalade. 

"Seems like it." Thor yawned and took a bite, leaning back in his seat. Natasha was licking the jam off her fingers and standing up, stretching. Her top rode up and Thor, who's burgeoning bisexuality was tugging at his mind, appreciated the view of her flat stomach. 

"Eyes in your head." Clint muttered, kicking Thor's ankle. Thor jumped and glared at Clint. Natasha grinned at him and walked to the open area in front of bookcase. She rolled out a mat and stared to stretch, preparing herself for yoga. 

It was a quiet morning, with everyone happy to sink into their own heads. The light filtered out through the windows, catching everyone's hair and making them seem ethereal. Thor watched Loki, who's hair was so densely black that the sunlight hit it and was absorbed. 

This peace lasted until Rollins appeared at the door and everyone, including Thor, tensed. Tony put down his mug slowly, his normally tan features slowly turning white.

"Therapy time, Stark." He said. 

"It's not been a week." Tony said. His voice was low and tense, and Bruce stood up and out a hand on Tony's shoulder. 

"Don't matter. Schedule says it's time for therapy. Besides," he grinned, and Thor felt something cold race down his spine. "I thought you liked Yinsen."

Tony pursed his lips and then stormed out, smacking Rollin's in the side as he past. Rollin's scared face pulled into a snarl as Tony stalked off, turning and slamming the door of the rec room closed. The atmosphere of the room changed, becoming tense and uncomfortable. 

Thor sat back at his table and eyed the door, sipping his coffee slowly. Bruce was tapping his fingers against the table, and Clint was pursing his lips in irritation.

"Clear something up for me." Thor said finally. Clint and Bruce looked at him. "This is a Stark facility."

"Yeah." Clint said slowly. 

"But Loki was the first one here." Thor frowned. "Did the Stark family just have a psychiatric facility lying around? How did Loki end up here?"

Bruce eyed Clint, before Clint gave Bruce a tiny nod. "Okay," Bruce said, leaning forward con-spiritually. "This is what we have managed to figure out, from what Tony told us and from what Clint managed to seen."

"Huh?" Thor turned to Clint, who shrugged with a small grin.

"Snuck into the records office a week after I got here." 

"Nicely done." Thor sat back, and Clint took this as an opportunity to continue. 

"Okay, from what Tony told us, this place was originally built as a motel complex. But it was abandoned after being built, because Howard Stark Sr, Tony's grandfather, lost the backing from his colleagues and didn't have the knowledge to run a complex by himself."

"It's a very odd build to be a motel." Thor said, frowning.

"True, but Tony said that this place was refurbished shortly after Loki arrived."

"So he was the catalyst for this place becoming a asylum." Thor murmured. Bruce nodded. 

"Tony said that, after Loki's incredibly public freakout, Loki's father contacted Howard, Tony's dad, in the hopes that he would take Loki off of Laufey's hands."

"They knew each other." Thor muttered, eyebrows shooting to his forehead.

"They went to boarding school together in London."

"But Tony never met Loki before." 

Bruce waved a hand. "Fairweather friends. They spoke about once a year, but when Laufey needed to get rid of Loki, Howard agreed to take him."

"And dumped him in here." 

"Given the fact that Howard had a spare building, and now a kid with severe mental problems, it made sense for him to ditch Loki here."

Clint looked at the table and rolled toast crumbs together. "Tony told me that he saw Loki once, before he got transferred here. Loki was tied to the bed in a spare part of the house, and crying. Tony said he never felt such guilt, and when he went back the next day, Loki had been removed and taken here, all alone."

"Is this place licensed?" Thor asked, aghast.

Clint nodded. "Howard pulled some strings and got this building and the surrounding land licensed as a mental facility. Loki arrived at the same time as the staff did, and refurbishment happened shortly after." Here, Clint gave a shudder and looked to where Loki was curled up beside Steve. "There are recording's of him screaming with tiredness, with fear when this place was being re-built. The early psychiatrists went through an entire months supply of Thorazine trying to calm him down."

Thor shuddered. "But why is this place so empty? This is a building built for 200 people, and there are only eight of us. This is a money sink, Howard Stark can only be losing money keeping this place open."

"Yes, but Clint found out that this place, as well as being private, is also funded by the taxpayer."

"How?"

Clint looked at Bruce, and then sighed. "When Tony had his accident, when he killed his mom, Howard tried everything he could to keep the news out of the press. But the news got out before Howard knew exactly what happened, and because Tony was hysterical and not bothering to lie, Howard got pressured to put him into the exact same place as the last mental patient he had been in contact with."

"So Tony ended up here." Thor murmured. 

"Yeah. Howard kept the transfer as quiet as possible, and puts enough money into this place to keep Tony and the rest of us comfortable."

"And the staff."

"Uh..." Clint looked at Bruce and screwed up his face. "The Board of Governors that runs this place got a new board member just after Tony arrived. He was the one who brought in Rumlow and his lot. Yinsen was already here, he knew Tony from before, so he became a psychiatrist and came here to he could look after Tony."

"So why the hell are the rest of you here?" Thor asked, running a hand through his hair. Clint and Bruce looked at each other with equally confused expressions on their faces.

"We...don't know." 

"What?"

"There's a reason that we've all be gathered. I mean, Natasha and I were in New York, but Natasha is Russian. Bruce was in Iowa."

"Iowa?" Thor looked at Bruce, who nodded. "But why did you get put in a mental facility in New York?"

"I don't know. I woke up here."

Thor leaned back in his seat and looked at the ceiling. He could hear Loki in the background, humming gently to Bucky. 

"They're keeping us all contained." He muttered. Bruce nodded.

"Yeah, that's what we think too. It also explains why this place is publicly funded as well as privately, if for some reason they was to keep all of the dangerous people away from the general population."

Thor bit his lip and looked at Clint. "Do you know what happens in the basement?"

Instantly Clint and Bruce stiffened and eyed Thor. "How do you know there's a basement?" Clint hissed. Thor frowned at him. 

"I can hear...screaming. It echoes and come up through the floors. Since this is the lowest floor, and none of the rooms would echo, I can only conclude that there is a basement." Thor looked at Clint and Bruce with hard eyes. Bruce licked his lips and turned to look out of the window. 

"No one remembers." Clint finally said in a low voice. "No one remembers. I mean, I do know that I've never been down, and Natasha says that nothing has ever happened to her, but the others..."

"All I know is that I wake up with fresh bandages." Bruce whispered.

"Nothing like that's ever happened to me." 

Clint snorted without humour. "Given what you did to get sent here, you'll end up down there."

Thor gulped and looked at the corner of the room. Natasha was cooling down, sitting in the lotus position with her eyes closed, and Loki was now dozing with Bucky's head in his lap. "I've been here a couple of months now, and Loki's never once been taken away." Thor mused. "No psychiatrists appointment, no tests, nothing."

Bruce frowned. "In the entire time Loki's been, I don't think that he's been taken away at all. I don't think that they dare."

"Why? What do they think is going to happen?"

Clint eyed Loki. "Loki may be the most insane out of all of us, but he's got something protecting him. The one time someone tried to take him away to be tested..." Clint shuddered. "They were still picking bits of him out of the ceiling tiles in the bathroom a week later."

"He was protecting himself."

"No." Bruce shook his head solemnly. " _Something_ was protecting _him_."

They sat in silence for a long time, watching the sun move across the room. When Natasha stood up, Clint walked over and kissed her on the cheek before making their way to the beanbags and sitting down. Bruce then also stood up and stretched, cracking his bones and walking to the mat Natasha had left out. But before he left the table, he turned back to Thor with serious eyes. 

"Tony told me that the only reason he was building the suit in the first place was to rescue the green eyes boy he had seen in the spare room. If Loki hadn't been in the house in the first place, then Tony wouldn't be here."

"You blame Loki?"

"No." Bruce shook his head. "But Loki's involved in too many instances for there to be a coincidence. I think that there's a reason we're all here, and Loki is the common factor to everything."

Thor looked over at Loki, who looked back at him with serious green eyes. There was no him of insanity in those eyes, and when Loki gave Thor a shy smile, Thor smiled back, and tried to ignore the icy ball that had settled in his stomach.

 

 

***********

 

 

The noise in Loki's head was deafening most of the time. Nothing but crashing sounds, musical tinkling and the bright green flash of light, constantly moving across his mind and preventing the clear, concise mind of his youth from allowing him to make sense of... _anything._

Since Thor had arrived, since he had been promised, his mind was changing. He could hear his own thoughts, he could see how the world really was, and not how it might be. His skin felt smoother, less jagged, and the cold didn't penetrate as deep as it used to. The numbers danced in front of his eyes, but as they used to do as a boy, and not taking over him mind and permeating his very being.

Loki let his mind quiet, hand in hand with Thor, and simply let the world pass him by. His thoughts whispered, his fingers tingled, but Thor was able to ground him in disown body until they got to the day room. He sat up and pressed his lips to Thor's cheek, feeling that soft skin and revealing in Thor's smell.

'Ozone and rain.' Loki though happily and walked into the room. He stopped when he saw Steve and Bucky against the window, and his heart thumped painfully. 

Loki sensed that Thor didn't need him today, and so, after informing Thor of this fact, walked over, grabbing some toast in case Steve had forgotten to eat again. He walked softly, keeping his footfalls light and practically soundless, before popping up behind Steve with a grin. 

"Oh Captain, My Captain!" He whispered to Steve, who turned in surprise. 

"Loki, my heart can't take anymore surprises." He said, putting a hand to his chest. Bucky, with his knees to his chin, continued to look out of the window. Loki smiled and settled down beside Steve, handing him the toast and watching him. 

"Staying with us today?" Steve asked around his toast, and Loki nodded and settled down. 

As strange as it was, Steve and Bucky had always been able to calm his frantic mind. When they had arrived two years ago, Loki had usually spent the days wandering around the day room, lost as his mind was bombarded with outside stimuli and the noise and lights in his head. But Steve, who was small and very, very stubborn, had walked into the room, guiding his comatose partner. Loki had stopped walking, entranced by the stillness of his mind that had happened. 

"You." He had said, eyes wide and fingers trebling. "You have magic in you."

Steve had backed away from the evidently crazy man, whilst Tony and Bruce had stood up and were walking slowly towards Loki. Loki, however, had to get close to the stillness, and had darted away from their hands and swept up to Steve, putting a hand on his chest where his weak heart pumped. 

"You're not from here." Loki said dreamily, as the information floated in front of his eyes. Steve had glared at him, and Bucky, in the only time of action that would happen, darted forward and grabbed Loki's wrist, squeezing it and snarling. Loki had stepped back in surprise, taking Bucky with him and staring at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He had said breathlessly, tearing forming him his eyes. "I'm so sorry for you."

Steve had gaped at him and then reached forward gently, released Bucky's grip on Loki's wrist and then taking it in his own hand himself. "How...what do you-"

"I know, I know." Loki had gasped and started weeping. "I'm so sorry for you."

Since then, Loki had taken up the habit of sticking close to Steve and Bucky, allowing their strangeness to calm his mind. For the next two years, unless something else caught his attention, or the noise and volume in his head overwhelmed him and he wandered around, lost and internally screaming, until the man who he was promised had been pushed into his room and his head filled with silence. 

Loki knew, as much as he knew his name, that he was saner know than he had been in the last 9 years, and cradled that knowledge in his heart. He crossed his legs beside Steve and rested his head against the window, facing Bucky. Bucky had his eyes closed and was dozing gently, his arms crossed. Loki was sad to note that his left arm was bandaged heavily, and he reached across gently to take it in his hand.

"Oh, the pain." He lamented softly, and Steve looked up from his sketchbook. He grimaced and reached over, tangling his fingers with Bucky's. 

"They came from him yesterday. I tried to stop them, but..." Steve drew his top up, and Loki winced when he saw the massive yellow bruise on Steve's ribs. Loki reached over and placed his hands on the bruise, spanning Steve's entire side. Steve jumped and then winced. 

"Cold, Loki." He said and Loki grinned at him, before blowing gently on bruise. Steve jumped, and then sighed when the pain dissipated. "It's slightly scary when you do that."

Loki shrugged. "I'm getting better at control. Oooh, pretty!" Loki said when he saw the light through the window illuminate the dust motes in the air. He settled his head against the window and stared out at the garden. It was a lovely day, pleasant without being stifling, and Loki longed to be outside. But Thor's storm last night had coated the ground with a light sprinkling of dew, and  there was no way that the guards were going to let everyone out if there was any hint that they might get sick. Loki had only been sick once since being transported to the facility, and he had spent a miserable few weeks trapped in the infirmary, battling pneumonia and terrible, terrible nightmares. Only when  _He_ that Loki had been able to truly relax, and get the much needed rest that allowed him to heal. 

"We should be outside." Steve muttered. Loki glanced over and saw him scribbling frantically at his pad.

"Blame Thor." He said softly. Steve looked up and frowned at Loki. 

"Thor didn't cause the rain." Steve said dismissively. Loki continued to look at Steve with a slightly hard expression until Steve's frown deepened.

"You know nothing, Steve Grant Rogers." Loki said in a harsh voice and turned away, back to the window. But his enjoyment of the scenery was ruined, and Loki closed his eyes at the noice and lights in his head reached a crescendo, drowning out everything else. He leant his head against the cool glass and tried desperately to calm everything down.

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, until an ill wind came across the room and roused Loki. Loki opened his eyes and looked across the room, to see Thor was speaking with Clint and Bruce in a low voice. The aura surrounding Thor, normally crackling and blinding white, was now as subdued as heavy, rain laden storm clouds. Loki sat up straighter, and eyed the conversation happening.

"Something wrong, Loki?" Steve asked. Loki looked over and saw Steve's expression, his own aura changing from a calming blue to something more reactionary. Loki closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

"No. No. 'Tis just as it should be, and nothing more."

"Al...right." Steve said with a bemused smile, and shifted over when Loki nudged his shoulder with his head. He let Loki rest his hair against his bony shoulder, knowing that Loki would never do anything to hurt him. After Thor, Steve got the impression that Loki was closest to him and Bucky, despite that fact that Bucky was comatose. Loki hummed gently and Steve grinned when he felt Loki smile against his top.

"We used to live there." Steve said, handing his pad over. Loki looked it over, grinning when he saw a time that no longer existed. 

"Together?" He asked gently. Steve nodded. 

"It was illegal. But when my Ma died, and Bucky wanted to live away from his family 'cause they didn't like me, and his Dad beat him, we moved in together." Steve's smile turned sad. "I was never happier than when I was in that tiny apartment with Bucky."

"It's good to be with someone like that. Like him." Loki whispered and handed the pad back. 

The morning passed slowly, and Loki continued to bask in the silence that Bucky and Steve afforded. As it neared lunchtime, Bucky slid sideways and rested his head on Loki's lap, at which point Loki looked over in slight panic.

"It's fine." Steve said, smiling. He had grabbed a beanbag and settled into it, and Loki knew that he was drawing him and Bucky. "He needs to feel safe."

"Safe?" Loki whispered, tapping his own chest. Steve nodded, and Loki felt something soft settle in his chest. He leant his head against the window and allowed himself to drift off, sleeping lightly against the window. He was roused briefly when sandwiches were delivered, and he bolted his down with his usual gusto. 

"How are you always so hungry?" Steve asked, gently coaxing Bucky into eating his sandwich. Loki looked down at his fingers and weaved them gently through the air.

"Much energy. Need fuel for the fire." Loki whispered as if disclosing a great secret. Steve laughed and ate his own sandwich. Loki stood up and stretched, watching as Bruce finished his yoga and wandered over, grabbing another plate of sandwiches and rubbing his knuckles against Thor's cheek. 

"Good morning?" Thor asked. Loki nodded.

"Informative discussion?" Loki said with a raised brow. He grinned when Thor turned pasty and snickered his way back to Steve and Bucky. "Thor think's he's in trouble." He said gleefully, and Steve looked around Loki to Thor.

"Is he?"

"Nooooooo." Loki plopped back down and started wolfing down sandwiches again. 

Loki sat back against the window, tipping his head back and trying to calm his mind down again. The weather was on the turn again, and the room was getting colder. His mind, previously filled with blessed silence, was slowly filling once again with green, whisping lights. 

"No." Loki whispered. He saw Steve look over and frown at him, and Loki tried to give him a smile back. But the muscles in his face weren't working, and Loki let out a shaky breath. Steve reached over and took Loki's hand.

"Is your head full again?" Steve whispered, and Loki nodded. 

"Come over." He said and patted to his lap. Loki shuffled over and rested his head against Steve's leg, trying to calm his breathing down. He felt Steve run his hands through his hair, and closed his eyes, whimpering under his breath as the noise and visions overran his hard won sanity. 

The weather continued to worsen, and try as he might, Loki couldn't calm down. By the time dinner arrived, Loki was biting his finger to try and calm down, and when that was over, Steve was guiding Loki to Thor, who took him his arms and sat him on his lap, rocking him gently.

"Calm down, Loki. Calm down." Thor whispered into his hair. 

"The noise." Loki groaned. "The lights. The fire."

"It's alright, I'm here." 

By the time they had to go back to their rooms, Loki was shivering with stress, and Thor was keeping his lips pressed to the back of his neck, his arms tight around his waist. Everyone trooped out silently, and Loki walked pressed to Thor's side. They went up the stairs and were walking past the windows when Loki tripped, sprawling into his knees with a huff of irritation. Loki sat back on his heels and was dusting off his hands when he looked at the window and froze.

A face started back at him. Loki opened his mouth, saw the figure look at him with hard eyes and shut his mouth before shaking his head. "Not tonight." He whispered. 

" _Yessssss_." The figure in the window whispered, and Loki closed his eyes. He let Thor help him upright and walked back to his room in a daze. 

"Loki, what's wrong?" Thor asked, and Loki looked at him with sad eyes. 

"You'll be so scared." Loki whispered and cupped Thor's face, rubbing his cheekbones before turning away. He preformed his nightly ablutions quickly, before turning and stripping off. Thor, frowning at him, also cleaned up quickly. Thor made his way over to his bed and climbed in, before turning and looking in surprise when Loki, naked and shivering, climbed into his own bed for the first time in a month. 

"Loki?" Thor whispered.

"No." Loki moaned and started to cry. Thor made to leave his own bed, but Loki waved his hands, despite tears dripping own his cheeks.

"Loki, come over." Thor said desperately.

"Not tonight. No, no, soon you will know." Loki cried and buried his face into his dusty pillow, shoulders heaving.

Thor lay back onto his bed, staring out of the window at the whistling gale, and fell asleep to the sound of Loki crying to himself in the dark.

 

 

*********

 

 

Thor woke suddenly, but silently. He immediately calmed his breathing and looked over at Loki's bed, before his breath seized in his chest.

There was a figure sitting on Loki's bed, leaning over Loki and talking to him. Thor could see that the man (and he was sure it was a man) was extremely tall, easily taller than Thor and Loki, and had long hair down to his waist. His hand were hidden by Loki's sheets, and Thor could pick up a low, soothing voice.

The night had cleared, and by the moon Thor could see that the man was fashionably dressed in skintight leather pants and knee-high boots, with a silk shirt. Thor could see that his skin, lily white, practically glowed in the light. 

"L...L..." Thor tried to say. His voice cracked and Loki, who was awake, and the man immediately looked over. Thor felt cold sweat break out all over his body.

"Ah, he's awake." The man said. He stood up and walked over to Thor. Thor looked at Loki and saw him curled up in the sheets, only theta of his head showing. The man this time sat on Thor's bed and Thor sensed him smile.

"Who...are you?" Thor managed to squeak out. The man tilted his head and then gave an enigmatic smile. 

"You can't see me at the moment. I forget how feeble human eyes are." The man huffed and snapped his fingers. The lights in the room flooded on, and as Thor blinked to clear his vision, he head the man say something that made Thor's heart stop altogether. 

"I suppose he hasn't told you, Thor. Loki wouldn't, but thanks to you he is getting better. He would never say my name. He is far to loyal for that, so I will tell you myself.

"I am Loptr."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos and review. That really gives me the motivation to keep going, and I'm always so pleased to see how much you all enjoy my work.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a gift of kudos or a few words to let me know.


End file.
